When It Comes Crashing Down
by frizzyp123
Summary: A different take on the plane crash of S8, different situations/injuries for all of the characters involved, suspense, drama, action! What if Meredith got much more seriously hurt? I'm going to try to include as many characters as possible, MerDer, Slexie, Mertina, Merlex.. and much more. Will they all make it...?
1. Peaceful Flying

**Hi guys, this is my first ever fanfiction! I you enjoy, stay tuned! Any reviews/comments are much appreciated!**

It wasn't supposed to be this way. I'm not supposed to die in the middle of the freaking forest, this is not how I am going to go. I haven't lived, I haven't performed a quadruple bypass, a humpty dumpty, a valve resection, I haven't… haven't… I'm not done. Ok!? I survived this far, a little longer won't kill me. I thought internship was going to kill me, I guess not! It's going to be a fucking plane.

**3 HOURS EARLIER**

I exhaled. I mean-I relaxed. I chuckled to myself, its been a long time since I have done that! Working in a hospital really does keep you on your feet, but what exactly did I think I was signing up for?

Ellis-sorry, I mean my mother wasn't exactly taking me to careers fairs, I didn't have much of a choice in my career path. But in a way I'm glad… I'm glad I have, as Richard put it so well on our first day, "been pushed to my breaking point", while some of it has been, how do I put it… shit. I have met not only my person, but my people- my family, something you can't get working at the mall. Ah, how many times I thought that –

"Meredith?... Meredith… Wake up sunshine"

My eyes fluttered open squinting at the bright artificial light of the plane cabin, not too pleased about this, I turned my head over and looked to the window,

"Come on Mer, there's turbulence, you have to put your seatbelt-"

"Fine!" I interrupted

"Alright then!" Derek said offendedly

"Oh no, sorry Der, I'm just tired- I scrubbed in on a 14 hour double gastric bypass last night, I'm exhausted…" I turned over to look him in his beautiful blue eyes. I don't think there will ever be a time when I will get bored of those stunning eyes… and his hair… I smiled just thinking about it…

"Mer! Not again…"

She fell asleep again, I mean it's fair enough considering how long she's been awake, but honestly I'm surprised she can do it on this tiny plane. There is barley enough space for 4 of us, let alone 6! Anyway, I let her drift back to sleep since she seemed so beat.

Mark and Lexie were sitting directly behind us, I could just sense the tension between them radiating, they had been denying their love to each other for much too long, it was about time one of them admitted it, but with Julia it made things very complicated… but what wasn't complicated about the drama at Seattle Grace Mercy West?! I tried not to get involved.

The plane fell silent as Lexie and Mark fell asleep, all that could be heard was the whir of the turbines and the gentle snores of my beautiful wife. In that moment, it was so blissful, just about time to fall asl….

Just as I was skimming through my copy of Cardiothoracic Monthly, something interrupted, more specifically, a beeping noise? I carried on, probably just a seatbelt warning, it happens all the time. But by the time I had finished Dr Chen's article, it was beginning to get on my nerves, I mean it was loud- how had no one else noticed this? I flung my head around in annoyance to complain to Mer but she was fast asleep on the window with Derek leaning awkwardly on her shoulder. Mark and Lexie were both napping too, with their hands overlapped, ugh so damn cringey. Little Grey gets on my nerves. Nonetheless, the beeping continued so I furstatedly slammed my magazine down into the adjacent seat and strode towards the cockpit.

All of a sudden, I felt a sudden jerk pull me to the wall of the cabin, even more frustrated I continued to the cockpit door

"Hello? Hellooo? Captain? Or is it Pilot? Whatever, can you please sort out this beeping and maybe avoid this turbulence?..." the beeping lingered, seemingly getting progressively louder. "Excuse me?" I decided to go and talk to him in person since yelling didn't seem to be getting the job done.

I shoved the door open, it was swinging for a good 10 seconds as I took in what was infront of me.

The pilot was lifeless leaning on the sea of multicoloured winking lights. His brown hair was stained with a web of dark crimson blood still dripping from his head staining the control board.

My heart began to quicken, the thumping in my chest began to mirror the eratic blinking of the neon lights.

Breathing became a bit hard, as I looked up from the pilot to the windshield expecting to see the blue sky.

A blur of green greeted me.


	2. What Is Left Of Us

**Hi guys, thanks for returning and the reviews, keep em coming! I love reading them. Also, Sorry if the POVs are hard to follow but I just thought it was better this way. I forgot to say, medical terms are not good at all! I am completely going off stuff I have heard in greys. ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO SHONDALAND, this chapter introduces everyone on the plane: Lexie, Mark, Cristina, Derek, Meredith**

Next thing I knew, we were barrelling down through the air, I could hear the engines grumbling and sparking. I braced myself on the wall and began scrambling for some sort of control on the control board, I caught a glimpse of the raging fire coming from the engine. I bit my mouth hard to try not to scream. Breathe Cristina. Think.

But it was too late, we were heading for the green blur and there was no stopping it.

The surgical light was piercing in my eyes, what am I doing here? Am I in Boise? But…but why am I on the table?

"Derek? Derek? What's happening?..." But nothing came out. I squinted my eyes to try see clearer. The light wasn't a surgical light, it was something else? It was green? I carried on frantically looking around, but something was blocking my head. I squinted, are those leaves? Just as I began to clear my vision, darkness overtook pulling me back into the dark abyss.

"LEXIE? LEXIE WHERE ARE YOU?" I shouted at the top of my lungs. The plane had crashed, the plane had fucking crashed. I stumbled over some smoking debris, a chair maybe? It was chaos, rememnants of the plane were littered over the clearing, smoke and fire being a common occurance. I don't think I can breathe. What if Lexie was hurt? I can't live without her, she is my soulmate. I love Callie and Sofia and Arizona, but Lexie is who I want to spend the rest of my life with, we could buy a house and a dog… and a- Oh shit! My face plunged into the dirt as my foot caught on something. My elbow broke my fall but barley. Crap that hurt like hell. My foot was throbbing, I looked down to see the damage, but that wasn't what I saw.

It was a hand. Someone had lost their hand. We are surgeons! this can't happen, this can't happen, everyone is fine, everyone had their hand, both hands, we are all fine, we are all fine. Tears were streaming down my face, they stung my eyes,

"We are all fine!" escaped from my thoughts.

Sobbing and exhausted I collapsed, my foot was sore as hell but I need to go get everyone, it's my responsibility, I am Mark Sloan, I am the alpha male. This is my job. Just a second though, I don't think I can…. keep my eyes open… But then, just as my head slumped down onto my shoulder and I was about to give in to the warmth of the darkness, there was a movement in the corner of my vision. The hand moved.

It hurt, it hurt so bad. I want my Mum, she always knew what to do. My arm was trapped under something. It felt like a car was sat on top of it. This should hurt, I'm a doctor, I know it should hurt but all I feel is pressure. Come on Lexie, think… it must be paralysed, or-or-or maybe I'm just in shock. All of a sudden a cold wave came over me… infection. I have to get out, I have to just get my arm free somhow. I pulled as hard as I could but it wasn't working, it wouldn't budge.

"MARK! MARK! Help! MEREDITH?! DEREK?!"

It was beginning to get cold, any surgeon would know my arm was infected, I don't know how long I'd been out. I just need someone… anyone…mum…. Mummy please help….

I reached down to the hand, begging for it to be attached to a body… I squeezed it and peered around the tree to the other side of the debris. Lying there, bloody and bruised was Meredith Grey. Meredith. Mer. The other Dirty Mistress, Derek's wife. Lying there, helpless with her legs pinned beneath a large part of the plane wing. Her chest was covered in blood and a massive laceration to her shoulder. A lump appeared in my throat, as if barbed wire had tightened it's hold on my neck. Tears were coming to my eyes as I saw Merediths injuries. Then for a second, her eyes jarred open slightly,

"Mer? Meredith?" I pleaded

"… Derek? Derek help me… der it hurts…" she whimpered out, coughing inbetween each word. She then passed out again.

"Meredith, Mer It's ok, I'll find him, uh, uh, DEREK!" I was flooded with emotions and all at once all consumed by shock. But I needed help, there was no one to help me get the wing off of Mer's legs, she would loose them if he didn't do soon. Even more likely, die from blood loss from all of her injur- Stop it Mark! Stop thinking like that. She's not going to die, I can't let that happen, It would kill Derek, it would kill him. If he wasn't dead already.

It was the massive clang of metal which woke me up. What was Meredith doing? But as I reached over to her seat, there wasn't anything there. Or was there? Leaves? What was she doing? I forced my eyes open to be confronted with bright light, as soon as my eyes adjusted I realised I wasn't in fact, on a plane. But instead in a forest. My first thought was Meredith, where is Meredith? Nothing else mattered to me, she had to be ok. I moved to get up from the the broken airplane seat, but I was held down. Something was holding my torso in place. I reached down only to feel a seatbelt holding me down. Something was wrong, my chest felt heavy, but Mer, I had to find her, I need her. The clasp for the belt had been dented and it wasn't coming off. I pulled with all my strength to get out, grunting from the pain in my abdomen. I exhaled and tried again, I tried and I tried until my stomach was bruised and throbbing.

"HELP! Someone please! Meredith! Meredith! Anyone?!" I screamed, but then broke down sobbing. I cocked my head back in frustration and looked to the sky and prayed to anything that would listen.

I'd woken up on top of the pilot. On top of the dead pilot. On top of a corpse. I managed to get through this with a broken arm. A broken arm for fucks sake. What the hell happened? All I remember was that blur of green, next thing I knew, my arm was skewed the wrong way and everything was smoking around me. I needed to find Meredith, she would know what to do, she always does.

After walking around for 10 minutes climbing over all of the plane debris, I heard shouting. Finally, someone, I need someone to help. I ran towards where I thought it was coming from. It was Derek, bloodied but alive. He was strapped down to the remnants of a plane chair, with some nasty lacs where the belt cut into him. But he was alive and that's what mattered.

**STAY TUNED **** Plz review/fav/follow **


	3. Hanging on for Dear Life

**HELLO! Here is chapter 3, thanks for all the reviews/faves/follows, they really make my day and help me to keep on writing, I am so surprised anyone even saw this! Anyway, here is the next instalment, I have decided to use the initials of the characters to define POVs, I thought names were a bit like a script so this would be better. I hope it makes things clearer!**

**Disclaimer: all of the characters belong to Shonda land**

MG- The world was spinning, I couldn't seem to focus on one thing, one thing except pain. It was excruciating, my leg was under something, I'm not sure what, it was difficult to move my head and my chest hurt like hell. I couldn't concentrate, I was drifting in and out of consciousness with the pain coming like ebbs and flows. Someone was with me, they kept squeezing my hand? It had gone numb by then, but I knew they were there.

MS- She wasn't doing well. And that's putting it nicely. Mer was barley staying awake for longer than 30 seconds, and whenever she did wake up, she was groaning in pain and crying out for Derek, I couldn't get her attention, not even just to tell her that everything was going to be ok. Which it wasn't, but she needed to hear it right now. The only thing that was going to get her through this was a miracle and a hopeful mindset always helps. At least that's what Jackson and I say to our patients, the plastics posse, he never really liked that one… All of a sudden Meredith awoke and started coughing violently, "Mer? Mer are you ok?", she carried on coughing, so I held her head forwards to stop her from choking, as I pulled my hand away as the coughing subsided, I noticed it was wet. Wet with blood.

LG- I had to get out. I knew it, any doctor would know it. But my hand was jammed in-between two shards of metal, whatever way this went, it wasn't going to be pretty either way. I twisted my hand slowly, as I did it the razor-sharp shards dug into the flesh of my wrist. I screamed out in pain. Breathe. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. I was panting and I could feel the tears appearing on my cheeks, but I had to get my hand out, I had to get to Meredith, she would know what to do, she was always the calm one in these situations. I exhaled and finally pulled on my hand.

DS- "What was that?" I exclaimed after I heard an almighty scream echo through the forest. Cristina had finally got the belt off of my chest using a shard of glass, but I could barely get up, she was treating my stomach when we heard it. Both of our heads jolted upwards in its direction and immediately, as if we synchronized our thoughts, started heading in that direction. I shouldn't have moved, everything in my being told me not to but that is someone I love over there, whether it is Mark, my brother, Lexie, my sister-in-law, or my wife. I held my chest and found a stick to push on,

"MER?! LEXIE?! MARK?! Who's there?" I bellowed, Cristina was also shouting after all of our loved ones, I don't think I have ever heard two people shout with so much desperation before. Every time a name escaped my mouth my bruised stomach protested with a sharp bolt of pain, but it wasn't worth anything if I didn't find them.

CY- There she was. Lexie. 2. My stupid intern, but now my second sister. Her, me and Mer were sisters and I don't care what anyone thinks, blood or not, we are more than that. I wouldn't make it without them, but they don't know that. As soon as I saw the light blue scrubs in the distance, I began running, every step aggravating my already bad arm which was only supported in a sling made from some torn t-shirt.

"Lexie! We're coming! Don't worry" I yelled as I was running, but Derek had gone quiet, I looked back to see him bracing himself on a tree, I knew this was too much for him- any doctor in their right mind knows not to strain a stomach injury like he sustained, it just raises the chance of internal bleeding, but I had to get to Lexie. I carried on forward, but as I got closer and closer, I noticed she wasn't moving…

MS- This wasn't good, a head wound is never a good sign, it could mean countless things: A concussion, a brain bleed… stop Mark, stop thinking about that. We have to get Meredith to a hospital now! Or she is going to bleed out, if she isn't close to it already. The only thing I thought to do was get this damn wing off of her legs, it is doing more harm than good. I stumble over to it and grip the metal from beneath, cutting into my fingers as I do it and I pull. I pull as hard as I ever have, this is not going to be the end of Meredith Grey, I couldn't do that to Derek, to Cristina, to Lexie, it would destroy them. I pulled for Zola.

MG- Mark was screaming, he was in front of me now, at least that's where I thought his voice was coming from. All I could think about was the pain engulfing my whole body, something had happened to my shoulder, I could feel it throbbing and I was beginning to taste a metallic tinge in my mouth. But my legs were the worse, I'm not going to sugar coat it. I'm in agony. My fists are clenched, and my eyes squeezed shut, everything in my body is tense. Whatever Mark is doing felt like torture. I was screaming with my mouth shut, the pain wouldn't stop, please pass out, please pass out, please pass out, I screamed again but nothing was stopping the pain.

MS- She was in agony, I couldn't watch this anymore, she was crying out in pain, sobbing, I couldn't make out quite what she was saying but it was something to do with "passing out"? I released the plane wing as carefully as I could to make sure I didn't injure her more than currently. I dove down to Meredith, and stroked her hair which was matted with blood,

"It's ok Mer, It's Ok, shhh, shhh… Derek is going to be here soon and… uh… Zola is coming, yeah, Zola is coming" I smiled with as much conviction as I could, anything to help her through this. She was holding my hand with so much force it felt like my blood supply was going to cut off. Finally, her crying subsided and she passed out. We needed help and fast. We didn't have long.

**Ooooooooooh, Mer is just hanging on…To be continued… please fav/follow/review, it means a lot to me!**


	4. The Golden Hour

**Hi guys! I hope the POV indicators helped, I have carried them on in this one, but it is more focused on Cristina and Derek. I love seeing all your reviews so plz keep them coming, it is also so motivating to see that people are following and actually want to see what is going to happen! Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shondaland**

_**CURRENTLY 5 HOURS AFTER CRASH**_

CY- "Lexie? Lexie come on wake up!", I shook her as hard as I could, gripping her shoulders. Her face was devoid of colour, she was obviously in a bad way, but my mind was racing, I couldn't think through my years of medical knowledge. Come on Lexie, just open your eyes, let me know you're ok, we need someone else to be alive. I looked up and down Lexie's limp body-… my eyes stopped at her hand, with a massive gash going all around her wrist, the rest of her hand was covered in crimson blood. Fresh. Fresh is good, that means she couldn't have fainted long after whatever she did to her hand.

Lexie moaned, "Lexie? Lexie? Lexie come on, look at me", I reached for her face and cupped her ice-cold cheek. I reached down to her neck, her pulse was dangerously slow.

"Meredith?" Lexie whispered

"No Lexie, its Cristina, you're going to be ok, just help me here"

"What? Cristina, we have to…" she coughed weakly, "we… we have to do rounds?... Dr Yang?", my heart sunk. My medical knowledge was something which I would really rather ignore at the moment. Lexie was clearly displaying signs of early sepsis; her hand must be infected. This next hour is the deciding one. The golden hour. She was either going to hydrate and stay alive long enough to be taken to a hospital for antibiotics, or begin a downward spiral which once started couldn't be stopped...

DS- I was bracing myself on the tough bark of the tree… I didn't anticipate how injured my stomach was, it was pulsating with pain and showed no signs of passing. But I had to get to Cristina, she was shouting back at me something about Lexie. I grunted as I pushed myself up off of the tree and began to make my way climbing over the remnants of the crashed plane towards Cristina.

Lexie wasn't in a good way, her hand was bad, but the infection was worse. She was worryingly cold and shivering within an inch of her life. Cristina was crouched by Lexie's wrist using her only hand to try examining it and see how bad the damage was. It was still bleeding. That wasn't good. We had to get it bandaged, and quick. "Derek, we haven't got anything to stop this bleeding, what do we do?... What do we do?"

"It's ok, um, um…"

I trailed off, it was obvious Cristina was in shock, maybe it was the crash of adrenalin finally subsiding and letting her feel the full extent of her wound. But right now, we had to help Lexie, or she would most definitely loose the hand. "We need bandages. Yeah, yes, ok… um, so Cristina, I-I-I am going to go look for something we can use to stop this bleeding, you stay with her ok", I got up to walk away as she gripped onto my hand.

"Don't go Derek, please- "

"I have to! Do you _want _Lexie to lose the hand?" She shook her head, "I didn't think so! Now please, just let me go try help her".

I didn't mean to snap. But she needed to hear it, hear what we were both thinking but were too scared to say out loud.

CY- Then he was gone. Just like that, I was left with Lexie who was now shivering and spiking a fever. If it wasn't before, now it was obvious that she had a pretty severe infection. She must have gotten injured longer before we found her than we thought. She just opened her eyes slightly and began saying something inaudible, "Cristina?"

"Yes, yes Lexie- I'm here, Derek has gone to get bandages for your hand, you hear that? You're going to be fine…" She was gritting her teeth in pain now, I had to do something, "Mark will be here soon and you two will… uh… move in? Sorry Lex, I try not to keep up in your turbulent love life- that Mer's job…" As soon as her name escaped my mouth, a lump appeared in my throat. I hadn't thought about losing her. Meredith was my person, if I lost her, I would have no one, she was my rock. We had to find her.

DS- Sweat was dripping down the side of my forehead, my hair was a mess, blood was coming from all sorts of places, but I didn't have time to think about that- Lexie was in a much worse state than I was. A first aid kit would save her life, a fucking first aid kit, something I usually have in my briefcase every day, or anyone would have in their car or their house. But the only time when I have ever properly needed it, I haven't had it. Ironic, huh…

The plane must be scattered across a mile of this forest, there is wreckage as far as I can see. The light tunnelled in from the pine trees above, radiating off the metal, but however warm and welcoming this forest looked, it was getting dark and the light was no longer tunnelling like it was before. It was dwindling, counting down as if on a stop watch before we would be abandoned in the pitch black, all injured. I quickened my pace at the thought of Meredith being here overnight, that's if she was even alive…

I began running.

The thought was unbearable, for Meredith, I had to save Lexie's life, I had to do something. The trees began blurring as I was moving over all the rubble. My breath was laboured, I could hear my heart thump in my ears. My chest was pounding, my eyes were scanning around the forest for any sign of something we could use for bandages, anyt-

Crap. Shit. Ah Shit that hurt. Next thing I knew, I had my face planted into the ground. Agony coursed through my stomach where my injury was aggravated. It made be throw my head back in pain. It felt like someone had hit me with a baseball bat. I collapsed my head back down while I was reeling from the consuming pain, my teeth were gritted to stop myself from screaming. Breathe Derek. Breathe. I attempted to control my sporadic breathing, but my body was fighting back with tears.

I was staring up at the sky when I heard it. It was faint but I heard a voice.

"Come on Meredith! Don't give up on me now! I know, I know, please, just hold on" and then I heard a massive grunt, which would be heard throughout the whole forest. It was painstaking and full of vigour.

But that voice. I would recognise it anywhere.

Mark.

**Thanks for reading! Oooooh, another cliff-hanger, so now I think Derek is getting close to Mer and Mark, please keep reviewing, I love to hear from you all **** Stay tuned x**


	5. The Clock is Ticking

**Hi guys! Thanks for returning, make sure to review/fav/follow so I keep updating. Sorry if medical knowledge is bad! I try my best… **

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to shondaland**

MS- My hands felt like they were going to fall off, I have been trying to get this plane wing off of Mer for around half an hour now, at least that how long I think it's been… I had lost all sense of time by now. All I knew was my muscles were killing, I don't know how much longer I can do this for. Meredith was obviously in agony, every time I pulled up on the massive piece of metal, she would scream and shout at me to stop, but I couldn't. She was going to lose her legs otherwise.

MG- The pain shot up my leg like electricity, this time was the worse, the other times were painful but this one was too much, I felt my eyes roll back behind my eyelids. My head was pulsating and all I could see was a blinding whiteness.

DS- I began crawling up from the floor towards them. I held my stomach which felt like It was being stabbed repeatedly over and over with every movement I made. I tried shouting, but it didn't work, my throat constricted and it felt like sandpaper was being rubbed up and down it. All that escaped my mouth was a whimper, "Meredith… Mark". It looked like Mark was pulling up a large piece of metal. But where was Mer? He was saying something to her just a second ago… I began speeding up, as fast as my beaten body would let me… maybe she was behind the metal? She was probably helping him, but why…? I pushed myself forwards with every ounce of energy my body could muster. My head felt heavy on top of my neck, like it wasn't supported anymore, it was jerking back and forth with every step, but I had to get to Meredith… I had to get there… come on… step forwards… step forwards… Meredith… she's just over there- I can get there… if I just move…

MS- My arms slackened. I couldn't hold it anymore, everything just stopped. It was silent.

Wait… It was silent. Meredith wasn't screaming… I stumbled around the wing back to Meredith, she was paler than before. I hadn't quite taken it in before; the extent of her injuries. Her face was bloody and the laceration on her shoulder had bled through the t-shirt I had tried to use to stop the bleeding. Her whole body was bruised beyond what I have ever seen before. I can't believe I only got out with a fucked up foot. This isn't fair. Zola needs her, come on Mer, I knelt down and felt her pulse, it was dangerously low and thready. I need to get this off of her. I ran back to the wing and just as I reached down to pull again, I heard her whimper through gritted teeth, "Mark, let me go… It hurts too much… Mark… please…"

""Come on Meredith! Don't give up on me now! I know, I know, please, just hold on"

Then I pulled. I couldn't think about myself anymore, my pain didn't come anywhere near hers.

DS- Mark was still pulling on the metal object, as I got closer, I realised it was a whole wing. That was the wing of the plane. But why was he shouting about Meredith?

Then suddenly I put it together.

Mer was under the wing.

That is why he was trying to lift it.

My heart had never beat so fast, it felt as if it was about to thump out of my chest, I began sprinting. Tears were appearing at my eyes as I got closer and I could make out her wavy hair on the forest floor. Mark's eyes shot over to me.

"Derek is that you?" he said panting behind the wing.

"Mark? Mark, what happened to Mer"

I was sobbing by the time I made it to her, I fell down directly beside her and held her head. She was destroyed, every part of her body battered by the crash. How could I have let this happen to her?

"Mer? Mer? It's ok… I'm here…" I whispered into her ear in-between sobs.

"Derek, Derek, I know this is a shock but you have to help, you have to help me get this off her legs or she'll lose them, this is no time for that"

I brushed away the flood of tears that had appeared on my face, my vision was blurred but Mark was right. I had to push away my emotions. Just like the OR. We were saving someone, like we always were. Just this time it was my wife. I stumbled around to the other side of the wing my eyes still locked on what used to be my wife, braced my hands beneath the wing, the pain in my somach was now excruciating, but I had to push that aside too.

"Ok pull on 3… 1…2…3" I had never pulled so hard in my life. Every nerve in my body protested against it.

The plane wing was raised just an inch. But that's all we needed to get it off of Mer, we pivoted it away from her legs, to reveal the deep crimson gashes that it had left. I was frozen. I couldn't move. Meredith's scream echoed into the depths of my being.

MG- I have never felt so much pain in my entire life. As soon as they lifted it off my legs I felt an immense tearing pain rip its way through my body, it felt as if someone was dragging knives over and over my thighs, my feet and sins were numb, but that didn't stop the agony I felt above them. I raised my head. I looked down. I should not have raised my head.

I suddenly felt dizzy and faint, I barley recognized my body, all I saw was blood. No Blue scrubs. Nothing. Blackness.

MS- Derek was static, staring at the cuts on Meredith's legs with horror in his eyes, sobbing as soon as Mer passed out. All I could think was, we needed to stop the bleeding. The wing was tamponading the wounds so now it was gone, blood was flowing from the wound. They needed stitches, so we had to figure something else out and fast. I lunged towards the bag we had found the t-shirt in, looking for anything that we could use to stop the bleeding or at least to splint the leg since it was obviously broken, the left more than the right, at least one of them didn't have visible bone showing. I scrambled through the bag, my head dizzy with adrenalin. My whole arms were shaking, and my fingers getting numb from the cold. I blindly felt around the edges of the bag, pushing past all of the books and the washbag. Wait. The washbag? I pulled it out and fumbled around the zip in my hand, after getting a grip, I pulled to reveal the contents.

"Umm, Derek, can you come over here?"

"No Mark… no, that's not happening"

"It's the only way we can stop the bleeding"

Derek wiped his tears and nodded just slightly.

I grabbed the sewing kit and went back to Mer.

**Thanks for returning guys, I hope your enjoying the story, please keep on reading! I love the reviews, they are really keeping me motivated. Sorry if any of the medical knowledge was a bit spotty! Stay tuned!**


	6. Optional Obligation

**I'm back! Hope you enjoy this instalment, ik the pov is sometimes a bit bad but bear with me, im often in a rush writing **** Anyway, here it is!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to shondaland**

MS- She was lifeless on the ground, and she needed to stay that way. My fingers were numb, there was no way I could do this, I am a plastic surgeon and I can't do stitches, ironic?. I have been pulling on the wing for who knows how long, and my hands are cut and bruised, there was no way that they would remain steady. I shot my eyes over to Derek who was frozen by the bag staring at the ground. I staggered over to him and braced myself on his back, my foot was bad. That fall when I was trying to get to Meredith was worse than I had first anticipated. It was bleeding through my shoe. I leant on Derek's shoulder and whispered to him "Shep, I can't do this, my fingers are shaking, you have to do it. I-I know it will hurt her but you have to, you have to if she is going to keep her legs"

He slowly collected himself and stood up straight, his eyes were swollen with tears and his face was blotchy, but his icy eyes looked directly at me as he reached down and took the sewing kit.

LG- I don't feel good. I feel dizzy, the trees are spinning, Cristina could only hold me with her good arm, her other one wasn't looking good at all. Stop looking Lexie. I can't keep moving my head or I'll be sick again.

"Come on Lex, just a bit further"

CY- Derek hadn't come back, it had been at least an hour, he must have found someone, that's good. That's good. He found Mark and Mer… or…. o-or something happened to him. Stop thinking like that Cristina. Come on, I just need to get Lexie to bandages, we were heading in the direction that Derek went, maybe he found the others and they have bandages?... It was getting harder to breathe, I think I'm in shock, but Lexie is getting weaker by the minute and we need to stop the bleeding. I carefully helped her over the wreckage of one of the chairs, as I looked down at my feet, I saw blood. But not my blood-or Lexie's…

It must be Derek's…. Then Lexie came out of her lethargic, zombie-like state to exclaim, "It's a path… the blood is a path…" She panted out through her coughs.

LG- Just a bit further… we could see the blood in a path, it was guiding us to Derek, and right now we were grappling for anything which could stop my hand from bleeding, I must have lost at least 2 units of blood now, and my other hand clamped around It was getting weak. Cristina was the only thing from keeping my legs buckling beneath me, just a bit further…

DS- My hands were trembling as I thread the needle, my eyes blurred with tears, it was impossible to get it through the eye of it. It must have been Lexie's, she was always so organized, she would bring anything that she thought she would even potentially ever need. YES! Finally, the frayed thread went through the needle, there wasn't much of it so we had to use it carefully. I grabbed the antiseptic wipes we found in the bag and gave them to Mark to begin cleaning the wound. Meredith groaned in discomfort. Ah shit. She must be coming around, but this can't wait, we have to stop this bleeding now. I am a surgeon, remember, it's just any other patient… on the forest floor… with severe gashes to the bone on both legs… and all I had was a sewing kit… it's fine. Just another patient.

MS- Derek was talking to himself, whispering under his breath, croaking every now and then from his strained throat. It could from his yelling, screaming or all the sobs about Mer. I didn't want to push him but the clock was ticking. I held Mer's hand, and just as I peered up to tell Derek to shift it, he made the first stitch. Mer tightened her grip around my hand. Crap, she wasn't supposed to be awake for this. This was going to be agony, Derek was looking with an intensity at the wound which he has never even done in surgery. He was blocking it out. He was getting ready to block out the screaming.

MG- Derek? Derek was holding my hand… we were on a beach… the waves were collapsing and retreating, swooshing back and forth, the sun was shining down on his beautiful hair as I stroked my hand through it. It was bliss. But then I had an itch? It was on my leg, I raised my head to get it but as I craned my neck, the beach fluttered away, the sun was still there, but the beach was replaced with something very different. Trees? This wasn't the beach, m-m-my leg. That wasn't a mosquito bite. Derek was now crouched over my leg, staring at it, staring at the sea of red which consumed it. I lulled my head to the right and there was Mark, he was the one holding my hand. He was sobbing staring directly at me, his eyes looked apologetic… then it happened, and I understood why.

CY- A scream echoed over the forest, I darted my eyes over to Lexie, she was lethargic but not screaming. It was someone else. Someone else! I have never been so happy to hear a scream. I began placing my foot after foot reflecting my thumping I felt in my chest. Lexie groaned as I picked up by the pace, but I know she heard the scream, however out of it she felt, she knew we weren't alone out here.

10 minuites of walking later, the blood trail was fading, and the scream had transformed into groans of pain, we all know them too well.

MS- Meredith was gritting her teeth, her face tensed in all possible ways, she was whimpering with sobs, her chest pulsating with her uneven breathing. She wasn't going to last much longer; no normal person would have even come this far already but Mer was a fighter. Derek was finishing the first set of stitches, in a trance, but tears were still falling from his swollen eyes.

"DEREK! DEREK! MARK!", a voice seemed to appear from nowhere,

I immediately began spinning my head around scanning for the person who had shouted, Derek had mentioned something about Cristina but he was too busy with Mer to carry on. What if it was Lexie? What if Lexie was the one shouting? "Lex? Lexie is that you?"

In the distance, beyond some wreckage a silhouette of two people was coming closer, one seemingly supporting the other. One half of me secretly wished that Cristina was the one stumbling, bracing herself. I need Lexie to be ok. We need to be ok.

DS- In, out, in, out, in, out, in, out… my thoughts echoed. Dually reminding to breathe but also guiding the already shaky needle in my hands. Meredith was crying out in pain, it was a hollow, bare scream from the depths of her being. Please pass out, please pass out, please pass out, I couldn't even look at her, the thought of her in pain because of me was something I couldn't face. Even if I snuck a glance, I wouldn't be able to finish these stitches. In, out, in, out, in, out…

LG- Something was getting closer…. It was all a blur, I am so tired… But the blur said something, "Lexie? Lex? Oh my god? Her hand?" And I felt him take me into his arms, if anything could have helped in that moment, it was Mark. His warmth radiated through me, as if I had been given a new lease of energy. "Mark?"

"Hi Lex… I'm here, I'm here" He held me, he was gentle and passionate all at the same time, only he could ever do that.

I was enveloped in joy, all until Derek yelled,

"Um, w-wwe have a p-problem! Mer, MER?!"

**Sorry this one took so long! Hope you liked, make sure to review (I love hearing what u guys think/what you want to happen) fav and follow **


	7. Free Falling

**Welcome back! It is a beautiful day to read fanfiction **** Anyway, here is the next chapter, Mer is not in a good way, neither is Lexie… well none of them are safe! Ooooooh, I'm really enjoying writing this, and I hope you enjoy reading!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shondaland**

LG- It was so good until then. Mark was my happy place, my safe place, my romantic place, my home, he was the only place I ever want to be. Derek's shout ripped us from our embrace, Cristina was already sprinting (well not sprinting, more stumbling) over to them. Mark helped me to stand and move towards them. I looked up to his face, his forehead was dripping with sweat and fear consumed him. He was intently staring at Derek and Meredith. Staring at Mer seizing on the forest floor, with Derek moving his hands around her legs? I gave my eyes time to adjust, as soon as they did I wished they hadn't.

Meredith was pale on the ground, with blood consuming at least half of her body, her shoulder didn't look good, with only a weak fabric 'bandage' stopping the bleeding, it wasn't holding as she was frantically moving up and down. Tears were brought to my eyes as I scanned her lower extremities, and the gigantic gashes that Derek was… oh my…. H-he-he was sewing them… I think I'm going to be sick.

CY- It was Mer, I saw her as soon as Mark had taken Lexie into his arms like there was no one left on earth. B-but, Derek was doing something to her… you don't help a dead person… Mer _isn't_ dead. I kept on repeating that to myself as I ran over to them. Barbed wire was constraining on my throat, threatening tears to come pouring out. That was my person. MY PERSON… almost lifeless on the forest floor, before I had even to begun to process this, she began seizing, as I got closer I saw her eyes roll to the back of her head and as much as her body could physically move. Derek was shaking. Physically shaking. His vision dead set on Meredith's legs which had been butchered by the crash, I ran over to her and using my good arm and all the strength I could muster, forced her body into the recovery position, you are not going to die on me now Meredith Grey, not today.

MS- Lexie's frail frame was hunched over as she vomited on the ground next to her, I rubbed her back with one arm, supporting her with the other, she was so weak, too weak to stand up on her own. Derek and Cristina were still struggling to take care of Mer who looked like she had stopped seizing, for now. But it won't be until later to see If it has had and neuro implications.

DS- At long last, the stitches were done, no thanks to Mer's seizure but now at least we had one less life threatening thing to worry about adding to her already long list. Cristina was sobbing by Mer's head but I couldn't look at her, I couldn't deal with this… I can't live without her… someone needs to get here and quick. She hasn't got much left in her.

**2 HOURS LATER**

MS- The sun was falling beneath the horizon now, any resemblance of light was fading and no sign of anyone coming to find us. What if no one was coming? What if we were going to be stuck here, all left to d- Stop. Stop thinking like that Mark, remember what we say, positive mindset, come on! I lay back with Lexie cradled in my chest, she passed out a while ago but was looking better with a t-shirt stopping the bleeding from her hand. Still, with each hour, her hopes of keeping it were depleting. Mer was still unconscious next to the remnants of the plane wing, with Derek and Cristina sitting staring, we have done all we can, all that is left now is to wait.

DS- I had to keep my eyes open, for Mer, she needed us now, but my eyelids were falling. Falling against my will, each time, the warmth of the darkness welcoming me, but I had to push against it…come…on…Derek….push…for mer…then there was a creaking. A whistle pitch creaking coming from above us, I used the last of my willpower to open my eyes, maybe it was a helicopter? A plane, someone had come to get us… but no… it was much worse.

The creaking was coming from a branch the length of a car, and no doubt the weight of one.

"Cristina! Cristina! Wake up!" I reached over Mer to shake her awake, I grabbed her shoulder and move it back and forth until she finally comes around,

"What's that noise? Derek why di-"

"We have to move now! The branch is going to fall any second"

Cristina looked up and terror struck her eyes, she lingered for 5 seconds before her breathing started speeding up and she looked down at Mer, and then as if her thoughts synced in tune with mine, "Oh my- . Derek. We have to move her, we have to get out of here! Mark! Lexie! Mark come on, come help!"

MS- Cristina yelling my name dragged me from my daze, I suddenly snapped into action after tracking where they were both constantly looking, Lexie was rousing as I moved to get up, but my foot wasn't helping at all. Finally Lexie began to move lethargically off of me, staring hopelessly at Mer in a half-conscious state, but right now we had to help Mer. I hopped over to her and knelt down, Cristina, distressingly said

"Uh-u-ok. Ok, we are going to have to get her up without compromising her injuries, um-u-"

Derek Interrupted, "Ok- in three…" Derek made eye contact with each of us, tears streaming down his cheeks and just as his Icey blue eyes connected with mine, he conveyed his intense desperation, and I gave him a nod.

"3…2…1"

DS- My stomach complained with intense pain where it was cut in the crash but we began moving Mer, she was so fragile, any movement in the wrong direction could be catastrophic. My arms were shaking with fear as the branch began to creak louder, we still were in the danger zone and no one was in any condition to run with Mer. Cristina had fucked up her arm and Mark's foot wasn't any good. But we had to speed up, then I grunted through the pain,

"That way! Go over there, quick!", I spoke through pants of pain but also sobs for Mer.

The creaking intensified as we tried to speed away from the blood stained forest ground, Mer was bobbing in all of our arms, her frail body torn up with wounds, hanging on for dear life. Her head was lulled back despite Cristina's best efforts to keep it up, holding her neck. We were headed to the carcass of the body of the plane, Cristina was groaning through her pained breaths, she was using her arm. Any sane doctor would tell a patient that was the worst thing she could be doing to a broken arm like hers, but they don't know Cristina and Mer. They would go to the end of the world for each other.

The creaking was worryingly loud now

Just a few more… meters… just…a…few…more…met-

The creaking stopped. Replaced with an almighty snap.

**Thanks for reading! I really appreciate it! Please carry on leaving reviews with your comments/advice/opinions, I love hearing from you all, they are really motivating and encourage me to keep writing. Thanks Leann, Patsy and HeavenHearted for all of your positive input!**


	8. The Last Rhythms

**Aloha! Welcome back to my little corner of fanfic, here is the next chapter, after the snap…. Reminded me of Thanos but hopefully not so severe! We'll see! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shondaland**

LG- The snap echoed through the whole forest. Followed immediately with an ear-splitting thump as the gigantic branch fell to the ground. Fell to the ground, taking someone with it. I couldn't make it out from over here, it was an effort to see the branch in the first place with my eyelids refusing to open beyond half way. I began to crawl towards the branch which was at least 2 metres wide, I couldn't find the energy to shout, all that escaped my mouth were small whimpers. Silence lingered in the air.

CY- We had dropped her, I know we had, as soon as the branch came down, someone let go, I don't know who but all of a sudden Meredith's small form fell into my arm releasing a new wave of pain to course through my nerves. I fell backwards with the impact, Mer on top of me. She was ice cold to the touch, I slowly lowered her to the ground being careful not to hurt her anymore, I swiftly moved my hand to her neck to feel for a pulse. Come on Mer… come on…. THERE! Thank god, it was weak and thready, but it was there,

"Mer? Mer come on wake up! Come on, you've had enough happen to you, a tree trunk isn't the worst…come on"

She raised her head just a millimetre, I lowered mine down to look into her eyes for any sign of life.

"Ow." She muttered under her laboured breaths. I suddenly felt my whole body relax, she was here. She was alive, thank god. I pulled my head up from staring at Mer to get Derek and Mark over here to carry on moving her to shelter, but all I saw was forest. The massive branch lay horizontally with razor sharp splinters protruding out of one end, I scanned down the length of the branch, along the dead bark, until a head poked up. A head poked up over the branch and I would be able to recognise it from anywhere, the perfect hair.

DS- Shit, that hurt. All I remember was the branch consuming my vision and falling down just shy to the left of my head, the blow to my arm knocked me over but it was only a bruise, I've had worse. As I stared at Cristina over the branch, it came back to me though. The branch wasn't just shy of my head, it was coming towards Mer, I remember. I remember seeing it coming towards us… coming towards us… until Mark pushed us out the way.

LG- I was at the end of the branch now, using my good arm to help me stabilize on it, I continued pulling myself down it, skimming the sight ahead of me. Apart from the plane wreckage littered across all the forest floor, there was nothing in sight. Nothing…. except…a body.

DS- I spun around looking down the branch, to see Lexie's pale face, staring in horror ahead of her, I followed her eyeline to the dark blue scrubs lying face down a few metres away. I started moving towards them, before I knew it, I was diving down to the ground to my best friend.

He was moving? Mark began to push himself up and around to look at me, his eyes couldn't seem to find anything to focus on, they were skittish staring up, down, side to side,

"Hey, hey Mark, relax, shhhh" I held both his shoulders trying to keep him from getting up

"B-but, the twins, we ha-ave to get to … Boise" His speech was slurred and slow, he must have lost the memory of the last day, concussion? This wasn't good, the branch must have hit him right on the head.

LG- It was Mark! I saw the back of his bloody head raising up to look at someone else. I began to drag myself along the branch quicker, but just as he came into my vision and locked eyes with me, a wave of blackness overtook the vision in front of me…

DS- Lexie had just made it over here before she collapsed at the branch,

"Come on Mark, get it together, we have to help Mer and Lexie, j-just get up, yeh?"

With the help of both of my arms and a destroyed plane seat, Mark managed to get to his feet…well… foot. The bones of one of his feet was obviously shattered with some protruding at the skin.

MS- The world was spinning, there was a tree… then Derek…. Then a branch, I couldn't seem to focus on one thing for longer than 2 seconds. B-but why were we on the forest floor? This isn't Boise, we need to be in surgery… I brought my watch up to my eyes, I couldn't make out the time,

"Derek… we have to be in surgery…."

"Come on Mark, just a bit further, we will help Lexie then look at your head, oh man, you saved us"

"O-o k," the words slipped out of my mouth, as Derek helped guide me towards Lexie, who was asleep, I think? What was she doing there?

Derek and I knelt down to help Lexie to her feet, she seemed to be half-awake, well at least enough to stand up, I couldn't say the same for myself, my foot hurt like shit.

DS- Even though Mark was out of it, I needed him to help me move Lexie, I couldn't even think about Mer at the moment, it hurt too much to think of her in that much pain. Come on Derek, one person at a time, that's all I could manage at the moment. Mark and I looped our arms underneath Lexie and helped her up slightly. We were carrying at least ¾ of her weight, not like that was much, but she could barely keep her eyes open, let alone carry herself.

Finally, we made it to the tail of the plane, it must have been where the bags were, it was about 2m wide, in a cone shape, just enough for some shelter. All the sun seemed to have disappeared behind the clouds now, with the moonlight being the only source of light remaining, placing a cold blue tint all over the forest. The plane was destroyed, with large cuts in the body of the plane the size of a whole person, but it would do, all we needed was to survive the night.

MG- It hurt. It hurt so bad, something had fell on us, I'm not sure what but by now my whole body was in excruciating pain, numbing pain, I couldn't even tell where it was now. All I see now is a slit in my vision with Cristina staring at me, tears falling down her eyes, but a smile plastered over her face. She was trying, I always know when she's faking, she isn't the best liar, anyone could see through this false hope and positivity.

She slipped her hand under my back, it must be bruised because it felt like needles were being jammed into my spine as soon as she put any pressure on it. I groaned out, since my throat refused to let out anything more.

"Shhh, shshhh, it's ok Mer, you'll be fine, we just need to get you over there", her smile still plastered over her face, she reached underneath me, I tried my best to push my hips up to help her but they weren't responding to me, it was as if I was a damaged rag doll, about to tear any second.

CY- I finally managed to get a grip on Mer, enough to pull her away from the area where the branch had fallen, I was so tired of trauma, so tired of all this fucking shit which was happening to us. Seattle Grace Mercy Death is spot on.

Mer was groaning in pain but thank god she kept on slipping in and out of consciousness otherwise this would have been exhausting agony. But at the same time, it didn't indicate anything good on the neuro front, it was still likely that the seizure earlier meant something, something bad. Mark and Derek had helped Lexie to the plane as well, then Derek helped me with Mer, staring her directly in the eyes the whole way, he couldn't take himself away from her. He sat with her in the tail of the plane, tears constantly falling down his eyes as Mer winced every time, she regained consciousness. Mark was with Lexie, after we had to explain the crash to him without triggering a panic attack, he had obviously been hit hard with the branch, but he seemed to be alert, apart from a large concussion. Considering the size of that, he got away easily.

2 HOURS LATER

LG- Mark? Mark? He was here just a second ago… I managed to prop myself up with my shaky arm, my other hand was covered in a t-shirt seemingly cutting off my blood supply, I couldn't even face it.

The fire must have gone out because it was almost pitch black now, all I could make out was Derek unconscious next to Mer and Cristina, also unconscious. I slowly moved my head to beneath me, Mark was unmoving on the ground. Everyone was asleep. Or worse.

I sat there for… it must have been half an hour, I tried to wake up Mark, but he wouldn't come around and I couldn't muster the energy to go to the others, all I knew was that I had to stay awake…. Keep… my… eyes…. open…

Just as the world was overtaken with black, I heard a whirring. Followed by a blindingly white light consuming everything.

**Ooooooh, is it just Lexie? Or has someone come for them? I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it's a bit longer than the others but the branch coming down was quite a significant event. I love hearing from you, please keep reviewing! Make sure to follow/fave or whatever you do, to be continued…**


	9. Approaching Light

**Hello! And welcome back! Thanks for reading this far, wow! I mean I had no clue that anyone would even be interested in this! Love hearing from you guys, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Just a warning, I am introducing a new POV but don't worry, still always loyal to the beloved greys characters, it just makes more sense for this part. ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shondaland**

LG- I thought it was a dream, by now, that wouldn't be a surprise since I am pretty sure my heads been hit more than once, but as I strained my eyes… I realised I wasn't dreaming. Shafts of white light was flickering through the holes in the plane, I tried to see the source, but my eyes weren't cooperating with me. They refused to clarify anything, all I knew was there was a white blur of light and if luck would have it, someone was here for us.

The whirring continued, the lights came and went, but they couldn't see us. We were hidden in the shell of the plane, covered by the wreck, I had to signal them. My hand was numb now, I couldn't look at it, it made me want to be sick again and I don't think my body could take much more of that, I felt hollowed out. Empty of all energy and life, but I had to move, or I was dooming everyone here. If one of us made it out of this alive it would be a miracle in itself.

Using the remnants of an isle trolley, I pushed myself up of the floor, my legs felt like there were no longer joints, as if I was balancing each part of my body on the next, any second about to collapse. Using all the strength I could summon I pushed myself to the wall of the plane, bracing myself there with my good hand, the white light was fading now, they obviously didn't think we were here. If I could just get out there…

CY- My ears were ringing, ugh would the interns shut up…. just let me sleep…. I have had enough! I pulled my eyes open, geez that was hard, what the hell? It all came flooding back to me, the crash, Meredith, everything. Everything including the wave of pain which just made its way down my whole body. My arm was throbbing, I felt the bone, I knew it was bad, but I had covered it with a sling to block it out both mentally and physically. I mean, comparatively it wasn't the worst of everyone here, but I mean it's not exactly just a sting.

I lifted my head from the leafy floor. There it was again, the whirring, at last, my eyes finally opened a slit in my vision. I saw Lexie. Lexie waving her noodle arms up at the sky hopelessly.

Oh my.

Waving. Waving at people. People! People to save us! I dragged myself onto all fours. Or well 'all threes?', and begun crawling over, I couldn't bare standing right now considering my eyes wouldn't stay open. It was obvious that everyone was severely dehydrated and malnourished, I doubt any of the others maintained enough energy to even gain consciousness.

I had only made it a metre when the light returned. Lighting up Lexie's frail frame with one arm hopelessly raised in an attempt to get their attention swaying weakly back and forth.

Suddenly, they must have seen us, since all of the light began to concentrate on our location. It was utterly blinding, all I could make out was Lexie's silhouette. Lexie's silhouette collapsing to the ground. I held my hand up to my eyes which were burning now… slowly falling closed. As I lay helpless on the ground, I head thudding of footsteps and a panting voice exclaim,

"Uh-Uh…Ok we have an unconscious female here with obvious severe lacerations and possible fractures on her left hand… still searching for the 4 others…." More thudding followed, and then I felt my eyes burn just a little more as a harsh beam of light was shone at my face. "Scratch that. I have found them!... Bella… this is not good, we need urgent help on the ground! I REPEAT! BRING BACK UP" The voice began shouting, as he got closer and closer, the chatter of the radio layered with the horrible whirring of a helicopter… I couldn't take it anymore… the world spun as I let myself fall unconscious.

OLLIE- Oh my god. I had never seen anything like it, the plane had been churned up and spewed over the whole clearing, the largest part being the tail of the plane, as my eyes urgently flew between the unconscious woman on the ground and the plane, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. 4 bodies lifeless sprawled in and around it. My mind was racing faster than it ever has before. I mean the ER was one thing, or even a plane crash, but this was horrific. All of the people were severely wounded, I ran over to the woman who was obviously worse, I almost stumbled with shock as I got closer, she was caked in blood and gashes, oh god, her legs. They were sewn. Dear god. I slid down onto my knees next to her, I was rushing but any doctor knew that she was too far gone, it would be a miracle if any of these poor people were alive.

My hand was trembling with adrenalin as I threw my first aid kit down next to me then reached for her pulse, I had to check. I felt her ice-cold skin and the slight moisture of her blood, damn it Ollie, keep your hands still… still… unmoving… I held my fingers tensely on her neck…. Just as I was pulling away… a pulse. A slight throb. A slight pulsation. A life.

Oh my god! Oh my… uh- uh what do I do! Oh my god! Oh shit! She's alive! I urgently combed through the textbooks imprinted in my brain from med school, all of them immediately indicated that she would be dead. What do you do when the patient should be dead? There is nothing, I'm on my own. Or not? I reached for my radio strapped to my shoulder, tilted my head down and spoke into the static while pressing on the button with my trembling finger, "Hello? Umm-umm" shock still flowed through my body, making forming any words difficult at the moment, "I-Its Dr Watkins, the victims- um the victims are alive" However terrifying and horrible this situation was I couldn't help but smile to myself, the absurdity of what was happening seemed to be numbing my complete and utter fear. "I need back up, urgently, how far out are you"

The static tingled in the air…. Until at last a beep sounded

"Yep- Yeah, Dr Watkins, we are coming down now, stay clear!"

I ran to all of the victims to check their vitals, none of which were anywhere within a healthy region, they were all severely injured and in critically injured, especially…umm… I wiped the blood of the name tag, Meredith? Yes, Meredith was definitely the worse. By the looks of it, the man next to her had passed out holding her hand, they must have been here for at least 4 days. It must have been hell. And maybe, just maybe, we could save them from it.

**Ok guys, I hope you like Dr Ollie Watkins, while I want to include more greys characters, I don't think they should be the paramedics since they are all surgeons! Since everyone Is in a pretty bad state, I reckon there will be a bit more from other doctors but also Mark, Lexie, Cristina, Derek and Mer. Please stay tuned, still lots more to come! I love seeing all your reviews, they really do mean a lot to me and keep me writing so make sure to drop one if you can! **** to be continued… -frizzyp123**


	10. Blinding Chaos

**Hiya! Welcome back to When it comes crashing down! This chapter is, I think, my longest? And it is mostly from the perspectives of the paramedics Dr Ollie Watkins and Dr Bella Davis. You may also see the name Fryers, this is another paramedic Dr. Kit Fryers, if you were interested! Don't worry most of next chapter is all greys! I hope you like these characters, this is a thrilling chapter **** Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer : All characters belong to Shondaland**

WATKINS- Thank god, finally Bella was here, Bella was my 'sister', we had gone through medical school together, paramedics training and so much more, we were often known as the 'trauma twins', right now that didn't seem so funny…

Bella was jumping out of the helicopter which had managed to land about 10 metres from the plane, she was holding hordes of medical bags under her arms with a stretcher carried in the other, swaying back and forth as she hurdled over the wreckage, she stopped rigid as soon as she got here. Dropping the stretcher, she was obviously in shock, I hadn't completely gotten over it myself, but we had to move. And quick.

"Jesus, Ollie- you said it was bad, but this is fucking horrifying!"

"I know Bel, but we have get them out of here, call Fryers and get the rest of the team over here!" I shouted over the rumble of the helicopter,

She and Kit went to get the other victims while I dealt with Meredith. It was already a fucking miracle that she was alive, but she wasn't going to hold on for long. I took the stretcher from Bella before she had gone to the others. In the rush of it all I had to carefully lift her body off of the ground and away from the puddle of her own blood. If the other victims hadn't been surgeons and known how to deal with these wounds she would be long gone. Maybe she would last… it's up to us now.

I secured the C-Collar on her neck and strapped her down to the stretcher, my hands were no longer shaking finally reclaiming the stillness I mastered with Bella in the skill labs, the adrenalin was taking over the shock. I strapped the Velcro down and after Fryers got here, we lifted her up with a grunt, then looked at each other. As soon as my eyes met his, we exchanged a look as if to say… 'run'. We began sprinting with the stretcher to the helicopter, it looked like Bella had found all the others, I didn't have time to see how she was doing. I spun my head around, people were rushing back and forth with medical supplies, shouting from the helicopter to the wreckage, then there was a scream which pierced through all the conversation, it was chaos.

All I could do was focus on Meredith numbing all my other senses, my eyes darted from her to the helicopter every second, I needed to get her out of here or she would bleed out. The stretcher was bumping up and down as Kit and I jumped over the scraps of metal littered over the ground.

Finally, we made it to the helicopter, I stepped up carefully picking up the stretcher with me, just as Kit jumped in, I looked at Meredith, her blue eyes were staring straight at me.

DR. BELLA DAVIS- I ran towards the first body I could see, it was a young woman, probably in her 20s unconscious on the floor. Her chestnut hair was splayed over the muddy ground intertwined with strands of blood. She looked a bluish-grey, but that may have just been the lights from the helicopters, everyone was running around me, dashing towards other victims, with supplies in hand. Ollie was somewhere dealing with the worst of it, he had got here first so went to the most urgent ones, when I saw him kneeling next to one of them, he was in the zone, he always got like that in trauma, nothing shook him. But this _must_ have. His body was concentrating but his eyes were petrified.

I ran my hands over the woman checking for injuries, until I found one. A big one at that. Her hand was butchered by something, a make-do bandage had been tied over it but it wasn't helping, she was still losing blood, and before long she would be past the point of no return. I ushered one of the other paramedics over here with a stretcher, he helped me urgently get her frail frame lifted onto the bright yellow stretcher, her dirt stained face fell to the side and her hands fell off the side, she truly had no strength left, but the other paramedics had her now, she would be ok. I needed to go check on the others, it looked like Kit and Ollie had gone already on the heli-evac, I grabbed another stretcher and ran towards the last body I could see, it was a man, I think, I could barely see in the flashing lights of the helicopter. My brain was spinning with the commotion of the whole situation, the noise was overwhelming, but I finally managed to get to the man. He was unconscious on the forest floor, with his hand over a coat on his stomach? Why would he do that, it was freezing out here, he probably had hypothermia by now. Unless he _wasn't_ using the coat to keep warm, please no… please no…. please just have taken it off for someone else…. Please don- I was right. My suspicions were confirmed, he was using it to cover up a wound, to stop it from becoming infected. But it hadn't worked, the bruises and gashes on his stomach were severe and most likely infected badly. I lifted the coat carefully off of his stomach and down onto the floor drawing all my attention to the sheer size of the gash, it was in his lower abdomen and needed immediate attention, but as I looked around at the pandemonium, that wasn't going to happen. We had to get him out of here. I called an intern over, obviously a very overwhelmed one at that, their eyes were wide with horror when they saw the man's injuries but proceeded to kneel down and help me lift him onto a stretcher as well as putting on a temporary bandage to his stomach. But as I lifted him up, I noticed his hands were covered in blood, shit. I fumbled the stretcher back down to the floor and lifted his hand up, getting closer in to find the injury which I must have missed. But as I kept on looking there was no evidence of a cut or graze or anything… I looked down to the ground to be met with the pool of blood which was inevitably from the woman he was next to.

He was holding her. That is why his hands were bloody.

MG- There was light, that's all I saw, light flashing through my eyelids, a buzz of pain coursed through my body as soon as I gained enough consciousness to have the capacity to feel it. I could barely feel anything anymore, it was just like a pressure on every part of my body. A pressure, a pressure which was building. Building and building until it felt like a car had just been dropped on me. My mouth felt locked shut, I was struggling to breathe through the pain like Ellis always told me to. But I just couldn't ignore it. My face tensed as I winced but even that hurt, I have no clue where I'm injured, it's just a matter of where the pressure feels heaviest. And I know Derek did something to my legs, but it was all a smudge of a memory now. My eyelids burnt as I heaved them open, a wash of bright white light greeted me, I strained to make anything out past the blinding white. I began to make out a silhouette, Derek? We-we, need to leave, we need to find a hospital, its hurting too much now- I need to get back to Zola…. I strained again, I can't get up if I can't see, I tried lifting my head, but something was holding it down. It was getting harder and harder to breathe, I needed Derek, the silhouette was becoming clearer though, it was saying something, but I couldn't make it out behind the rumbling.

DR. OLLIE WATKINS- "Hey, hey, shhh- it's ok, you're ok ", I exclaimed while looking into her wide blue eyes as she struggled against the C-collar, I heard Kit close the helicopter doors and attach the stretcher down. Meredith's eyes were terrified, dashing back and forth but constantly looking to mine for some sort of reason or explanation. I kept on looking at her as my hands flew from the first aid kit to her injuries, it was getting worse. As I tried to speak to calm her down, I attached the electrodes to the tiny spaces of her chest which weren't cut or bruised. I fumbled with them, plugging them into the heart rate monitor, finally I hooked her up and a beeping began to sound. I held my free hand down to Meredith's to try to offer her any semblance of comfort, but she must be in agony and it was going to get worse before it got better. I used my other hand to pull a bandage around her shoulder. Just as I finished getting it around the wound, I pulled my other hand from hers to secure it, at the same time, the helicopter made a grand rumble and began to rise of the ground. As it happened and as my hands were just pulling away to start treating her head wound, the beeping increased rapidly, becoming worryingly fast for my liking. I flicked my eyes to the heart rate monitor… she was crashing. Shit. Her whole body which had previously been squirming in pain was now limp.

I froze.

As I stared at Meredith's lifeless body, the noise of Kit shouting, the helicopter blades spinning, the static from the radios all dampened to almost nothing. I couldn't hear anything… anything except the painful sound of the beeping becoming a flatline.

**Oooooooh! Sorry about the cliff-hanger! Stay tuned for next week to see what happens. Thanks for reading again! Wow, I love hearing from you all, even if it is just proof that someone is actually reading this, make sure to leave a review and like or follow or whatever you do. To be continued…**


	11. The Sky is Falling

**Welcome back once again! I hope you are enjoying, I figured you would want this chapter quick because of the cliffhanger, so here you go! FYI – I'm hoping you know who OH and MB are but just in case, OH- Owen Hunt and MB-Miranda Bailey. Also, in this version of the crash, the plane crashed closer to Seattle hence why they would go there. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shondaland**

DAVIS- And it was gone. The chaos of the wreckage, the fire was all a speck in the distance now, I had gotten on the helicopter with a man and a woman, only the woman had now been identified as Dr. Lexie Grey. I wonder if they knew each other… the man lost his name badge in the crash so we couldn't tell who he was but right now that wasn't exactly a priority.

It was cramped in this steel can of a helicopter, I had never been a fan of them, let alone with all this machinery crammed in as well. While we left the wreck behind, we certinaly didn't leave the blood. I was fortunate to not be with the woman who Ollie had but these two were pretty bad, I kept on going between them both checking their vitals and their injuries. I spun over to Lexie, she had really messed up her hand, there was no doubt about that. I had to do something, but as I undressed the wound, the bleeding had only intensified, obviously the doctors knew what they were doing out there or she would be long gone form blood loss by now. I just added a bandage around it and checked her IV. But then an alarm sounded, I couldn't tell over the noise of the helicopter who It was coming from. I braced my hand on the side of the helicopter to steady myself as I span towards the man. The man who was now awake.

"Hey! Hey, relax, you are safe now" I held both of my hands to his shoulders to keep him from moving, luckily, apart from bruising, he had only sustained an injury to his foot so I could do this without harming him. The harsh bright light of the helicopter was flickering but I could see his eyes, they were terrified, but more specifically, they were staring at Lexie. He was trying to say something but his voice was raspy and obviously irritated from shouting.

"Help! Help her! She-she hurt her hand- we-w-we need trauma one!"

He was reaching up to his neck to pull off the C-collar whilst tugging on all of the wires which were attached to him, as he reached to pull out his IV, I swung my hand across the helicopter to fumble open a drawer full of syringes, grabbed one and jabbed the sedative into his arm. He slowly faded from consciousness, but it was for his own safety, he must have some sort of amnesia because of the head trauma, but we didn't have time to look at that at the moment. "Everything ok back there?" the helicopter pilot looked over his shoulder to see what the shouting was about, "Yeah, but hurry up!" he lingered on the view of me in the mess of blood, syringes and bandages sprawled in the cabin, "NOW!"

WATKINS- Everything was spinning, all that seemed to be getting through was the never ending tone of the flatline. It echoed in my head as all my hands went numb.

"CHARGE TO 300! Shit Ollie move!"

I felt Kit push me to the wall of the helicopter as if in slow motion, a clang echoed…

"CLEAR!"

Kit grunted, BZZZZT.

Everything suddenly snapped into painful clarity, the growl of the helicopter blades moving at light speed, the eratic alarms of all the monitors calling out to me in desperation, Kit shouting at me through his panting breaths, the sound of my heart thumping inside my chest.

I leapt back towards Meredith, reaching for her now bleeding shoulder, I placed all my weight on it, and cast my eyes to Kit who was hopelessly holding the defibrillator paddles in his hands like a murder weapon. I followed his eyeline to the monitor.

A line.

I held pressure on Meredith's shoulder as I mounted on the stretcher. I kept staring at the line. The echo of the tone returned, elongating… losing hope. I focussed all my energy on the monitor using all my will to force a rhythm.

"COME ON!" I cried, my heart was now beating out of my chest faster that it ever has, adrenalin coursing through my veins, my chest rising and falling with the sounds of the alarms. My eyes were still fixed on the monitor, one hand holding her shoulder, one doing CPR no doubt breaking her ribs with the pressure I was exerting, it didn't matter now, nothing mattered now. It was as if the shrill of the monitor was the only noise in the world right now.

Come on Meredith. Come on. You are not dying today.

"Ollie. It's been 10 minutes… I need to call it… She's gone."

No! NO! NO! Tears were falling from my eyes, she has made it this far, she was not going to die now.

"Time of dea—"

Then. It was then. It was almost inaudible. But there was a tiny beep. A slight lift on the previously lifeless line on the monitor. She did it. She fucking did it. Meredith Grey is alive.

But it's up to us to keep her that way.

OH- "Oh my god." The phone slipped from my hands to the carpet of the meeting room. I came in here sometimes to get away from everything and 5 minutes ago that's what I needed. People wouldn't stop asking about my wife and a crash I knew nothing about except that everyone was likely dead, and it was my fault.

Now that may not be the case.

The man spoke quickly through the phone with a background of beeping and phones ringing in the background, "Is this Dr. Owen Hunt?"

"Yes, is everything ok?"

"We have found the wreck, the 5 victims have been found in Okonogan-Wenatchee Forest near Tyee Ridge and are on their way to you now, the paramedics on the scene have reported each one of them with severe to critical injuries but all of them are yet to be identified. We don't know anything further at this point in time, but they are heading to Seattle-Grace so please be ready for three incoming heli-evacs." His voice was followed by a resounding tone. And just like that he was gone. And I was left with 5 incoming traumas, one of which was my wife.

MB- Ugh not this again, can't interns do anything for themselves… I sighed to myself as I made my way down the hallway, my head was hung low since the thought of interns had been bringing tears to my eyes for the last week, the thought of three of mine dead is one I haven't quite come to terms with yet. As I passed the South Meeting room, I stopped at the nurse's station to collect myself, no I mean, to do charts. I am fine. But that's when I heard Owen Hunt crying. Owen hunt sobbing? That doesn't happen. I turned to the meeting room, and pushed the door slightly ajar, He was stood at the window with his phone on the floor, his hand frozen as he stared forwards.

" ?" He turned towards me slowly. My eyes locked with his.

"They are dead, aren't they?" I said shaking my head, a lump in my throat rising as a few tears brimmed my eyes. For the last week I had been holding back a shred of hope that maybe, just maybe.

"They're alive" Owen said, sobbing, shaking his head.

**There you go! More greys characters at last! Lots of action to come, stay tuned, I love seeing your reviews, keep em coming! **** Say who you want to see and I will try to include them. Until next time!**


	12. Incoming Trauma

**Welcome back fellow Grey's lovers! I hope you enjoyed the last chapter and now here is the next! I don't want to rush any of this story, so this chapter covers 2 of the arrivals. Also, thanks for all the positive feedback on the last chapter, it means the world to me to see that people are actually reading this! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shonda land**

OH- I thought my mind would be racing. Any normal person would probably faint right now, but my mind was completely blank. Maybe it was something to do with the war. But even then, I would feel the injection of adrenalin in my system and pounce into action. Right now, though, nothing. I was numb. The only thing I could feel was the tears streaming out of my eyes as I stared at Bailey. Both of us locked crying eyes, equally wide with shock. She was holding her hand over her mouth and shaking her head, just like she had been for the last minute.

The shrill of my pager beeping sucked me out of the bubble I had previously been consumed in. I swiped my hand across my face to get rid of the tears which had unconsciously been falling down my stubble ridden cheeks. "Oh my god, oh my god, they are coming! Uh-Uh, Miranda, w-w-we have to um…" I squinted my eyes tightly trying to get rid of the images of Cristina and all my dear friends, well basically my family now. They have been the only thing I could think about for the last week and now we may have a shot of saving them, this is no time for emotions, they need a Trauma Surgeon, they need Dr. Owen Hunt. I furrowed my eyebrows with serious intent then exclaimed "Ok. Dr Bailey, w-we need to assemble a trauma team stat, don't let this spread- the less people know, the better." Bailey was still terrified in her eyes, but she wanted to save them, and we had to be doctors, I would say that it would be better that they went to another hospital, but Seattle Grace is the best there is. Even if we are emotionally involved, we would all do anything for the people we love. She inhaled with her whole body then nodded and turned out of the room.

MB- The corridors blurred as I ran down them with my hand braced over my face which was soaked with tears now, I couldn't quite decide if they were tears of happiness though, all I knew was that I was in shock, there was no doubt about that. But I have to push that aside if there is any possibility of everyone being saved. I needed a team of doctors, I ran to the ER straight away, I knew we would need as many trauma surgeons as we could find, we would definitely need them, this plane crash seemed to be the actual definition of trauma. But as I was speeding through the doors of the ER, someone lunged in front of me blocking my way. Alex Karev. He just stared at me with furrowed eyebrows. "Bailey?", as per usual, Alex looked more confused than concerned. But as I saw him, Yang and Grey flashed in front of me and I couldn't hold myself together, I felt more tears coming to my eyes, I grabbed his arm and pulled him into a trauma room. I know I wasn't supposed to tell him unless necessary, but they are his family, he needs to know. I broke my eye contact with the floor to stare him in the eye. It's as if he read my mind. He began panting, oh god. I shouldn't have told him. Crap. But as I looked back at him a smile was forced on his face as he, well, I couldn't quite tell, it was a mix of crying and laughing, he shook his head as he breathed heavily, grinning he muttered, "They found them. Didn't they?", as I nodded slightly, he pulled me into an embrace, then pulled away, "W-w-where are they? Boise? Uh-uh- we need to go, we need to go to them!",

"Alex! Alex calm down" I said through my sobs and held his shoulders to stop him from pacing across the room frantically, "They are coming here, we have to bring a trauma team to the helipad now!"

DS- It hurt so much to open my eyes, as soon as I woke up all the pain came rushing back, the pain on my stomach was excruciating but now I felt a pressure around it, I looked up only to see bright white. Maybe this is what death looked like... But as my vision sharpened from the blur it was a few minutes ago, I made out the distinctions of the bright light shining towards me, it was just like the ones we use in surgery with the bluish tinge and concentrated beam, the glow was lighting up a... I'm not sure… I am probably delusional and 'out of it' at the moment but I think I see a metal… sheet? No. No. It can't be. A metal roof. A roof. Forests don't have roofs. It's a roof of something getting us away from that god forsaken forest. As my senses came back to me slowly along with the tidal wave of pain which consumed my whole body, I felt the edge of a stretcher with the edge of my bruised hand. Oh my god. Someone found us. We may make it out of this. We- Meredith! Meredith, where is she? I used all my remaining energy to strain my neck to raise my head off of the stretcher to find where she was, just as I managed to pick my head up the whole helicopter jerked through the sky. My head was thrown back to the hard foam padding on the stretcher, I heard an immense rumbling and felt the shaking of the helicopter followed by a large thump. Then stillness, the rumbling was still there but the helicopter was still, it was on land. The next thing I saw was a man's face look down at mine, then above me everything was moving, flashes of the starry sky began to replace the cold steel of the helicopter, where were we? I need to find Meredith… please dear god let her be alive…. I couldn't quite make it out but I heard a voice, I need to tell someone about Mer, they need to help her, it pained me so much but I managed to push my head off of the stretcher along with my neck as someone was racing me across the helipad, I spun my head towards where the voice was coming from, just looking for someone who would listen to me. I was so dizzy looking around constantly, but I managed to whimper, "Meredith! Someone help her! Where is she?", my eyes were dashing back and forth from the sky to the silhouettes surrounding me. Finally, one crouched next to me, "Hey, hey Derek! Calm down, she's on her way", it was Miranda Bailey, I struggled to acknowledge her face at first through my mess of sobs and persistent pain in my stomach, but I would know that voice from anywhere.

MB- Shepard and Yang were the first to come in, they were on the same heli-evac, Derek was first off, he obviously had come through the sedation already because he was struggling against the safety belts across his shoulders, I could see he was shouting something at the helpless paramedic as we ran towards them. Alex had managed to find Kepner to help receive the heli-evacs, while the others were all paged to the ER, we would just have to explain as they came in. I am not looking forward to that, I'm just hoping they will do a better job of keeping their emotions out of their treatment than I am right now. We were really going against the 'don't let your family be your doctors', we were all family however much I liked to deny it, beyond Ben and Tuck they we were all each other had.

As soon I finally made it to Derek, I locked eyes with him. His face was stained with ash and mud, but a majority of blood. A massive lump appeared in my throat as I looked down at the attempt at a bandage covering his stomach which had obviously been applied in a rush since red was seeping through. "Calm down Derek!" I yelled at him over the noise of the helicopter, he wouldn't stop shouting about Meredith, please Jesus don't let her be dead, I couldn't make out what he was saying and I'm not entirely sure I want to right now. The less I know the better. Kepner was here soon after me and grabbed onto the other side of the stretcher, one look at his stomach and she was sprinting now, I could barely see her in this low light with the only thing lighting us being the faint floodlight above the elevator doors. We ran straight into the elevator, she may have said something, but I wouldn't have heard, I stared at her in the eye as soon as we made it in, her ginger hair was wind-swept over her face but through it I could see her steely expression. That expression was the reason she was a trauma surgeon. She went ice cold serious, refusing to make eye contact with Derek, instead ignoring his pleas for Meredith and looking straight to his wounds. We all have our ways of dealing with these things.

A minute later, Karev ran in next to me pulling a stretcher with him, a stretcher with one of my interns. Cristina. She was unconscious thankfully with a large blanket covering her whole body being kept down by the safety straps on the stretcher, I don't think I could bare to look at any of her injuries right now, Derek's had traumatised me enough, if it weren't for the Antarctic wind being propelled by the helicopter my face would be soaking wet with tears right now. I nodded at Karev and Kepner, with a look of certainty in my eyes as if to say 'go, they will be ok', a sentiment my thoughts didn't share right now but that's what they needed to see. I held eye contact as Karev reached over Yang's lifeless body to close the elevator doors as I stepped backwards out. And just like that, they were gone, their fate in the balance.

**Thanks for reading once again! So now 2 of them are at Seattle Grace, stay tuned to hear about the other 3 **** As you may have realised, I didn't include Arizona in the crash because it just worked better as 5 but don't worry, she will still be featured! To be continued… (btw, I love hearing all of your reviews please keep them coming!)**


	13. Save Our Souls

**Welcome back to the longest chapter yet! I really didn't mean for it to be this long, but I wanted to cover everyone getting to the hospital, btw, JA means Jackson Avery. I hope you enjoy! Thanks for all of the reviews, enjoy! Also, sorry if the medical jargon is bad, I did a bit of research but mostly from watching greys **

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shonda land**

DR. BELLA DAVIS- The helicopter was being rattled back and forth as wind was throwing us around the night sky. I gripped onto the straps on the roof with one hand, with the other gripping onto the weak bandages around Lexie's hand trying and failing to stop the bleeding. The empty syringes and bandages flew across the helicopter floor, I looked down to make sure my feet were clear, but as I did, the helicopter jerked, but it moved in a familiar way. I had been a paramedic for a year now and I could tell the feeling of a helicopter landing any day. As soon as the rumbling subsided, and the syringes stopped flying up and down off of the floor. I flew open the helicopter doors and began to jump down, a short African American doctor came running towards me with her scrubs already stained with blood, nothing compared to my arm though which had been holding Lexie the whole way here. I couldn't let go without the bleeding becoming fatal, so I shouted to the doctor, "Hey! I can't let go, will you pull the stretcher down- "But before I finished my sentence, she had already got the stretcher on its wheels and moving, I ran alongside trying to keep my hand as still as possible with consistent pressure. But my hand was beginning to shake… we had to get her out of here _now_.

JA- It was silent. All I could hear was the slight thrumming of the elevator hoisting itself upwards. There was a puddle of blood splashed on the ground already. I couldn't even bare to think about it being one of them.

Just two minutes ago, Owen had grabbed me as he ran past the burn unit where I had been silently hiding from the world. He dragged me into the elevator and gripped my shoulders tightly. I didn't understand why at the time, but it made sense by the time he had told me. I think he was scared I would faint, which, I wouldn't be surprised if I had. My world simultaneously came crashing down as well as a spark of hope igniting inside of me. Meredith and Yang were some of my closest friends, Lexie being closest of them all and Mark. He was like a father to me, I had felt so lost without him constantly over my shoulder. I guess the saying is right, you don't know what you have until you've lost it.

Anyway, time to stop thinking about all of that, I had my eyes fixed forwards, squinting trying to hold back the tears. Come on. Pull yourself together Jackson, you are an Avery! I heard my mother's voice echo in the back of my head, suddenly overtaken by the ear-splitting noise of the helicopter blades as the doors of the elevator pulled away in front of us. It felt like Owen and I were race horses as we accelerated forwards with our stethoscopes almost falling off of our necks as we began sprinting towards the two stretchers. I saw Bailey with a paramedic taking one, Owen and I ran to the other- not sparing a look at one of our injured friends. Owen jumped into the helicopter to grab one end at lighting speed. Then he froze. "Jackson, go help Bailey, I can take this"

"No, it's fine, just move, we have to go!" I yelled back at him. I pretended not to know why he would not want me to deal with this, but at my core I knew. It has to be Mark. Owen knows how much he means to me. I lifted the stretcher down just to confirm my suspicions. There he was. His face was cut, and his hair was webbed with blood. I could almost hear him, _don't worry Avery, you will fix me up in no time kid_. I aggressively swatted the tears away from my cheeks. They had no place there right now, Mark wasn't dead. HE WASN'T. And that isn't going to change, at least on my watch. Owen stared at me as I whispered to myself, then I began running so fast, we caught up with Bailey. The rumble of the helicopter began dying away as it flew off, but the thumping of my chest seemed to replace it.

We finally made it to the elevator, I reversed in with Mark followed by the other paramedic with the stretcher. Holding … h-holding Lexie's wrist. Lexie. I bit my lip so hard I began to taste a metallic tang of blood.

"Hey what's your name?" the paramedic said to Owen who was all consumed in dead focus, it was times like these you could see his military background.

"Dr Owen Hunt, chief of Trauma, if you don't mind, we don't really have time for pleasantries, let's go!" but as Owen yelled this, the paramedic kept her foot blocking the elevator doors,

"Chief of trauma… Stay there! we can take it from here, Dr Watkins just radioed in, the last survivor will need as many hands as possible, she's critical"

MB- And just like that, the elevator shut once again, taking Sloan and Grey down. The paramedic had made Owen stay here, inevitably waiting for the last survivor.

As each one of them came in, it had been running through my mind, counting down who was left, who was alive, who was dead. I figured since Meredith wasn't here yet, she must be the least urgent, but Dr Davis confirmed the worst.

Just a minute ago, we had a call saying that the Heli-evac was delayed due to an unforeseen change in status of the patient. I'm just praying that the change wasn't death.

I stared into the empty dark sky, it was windy but so peaceful. The sound of the bustling streets was numbed by the height, it was as if we were above the clouds. The stars were out brightly tonight, I tried to count them to dull my nerves, but nothing seemed to stop the itching fear I felt…22…23…24…25…26… then as if out of nowhere, a helicopter barrelled into my vision, it looped around and began descending to the helipad. I stood there with Owen staring at it coming down, shielding our eyes from the wind by holding our arms upwards, my eyes were squinted but no tears to be found. Meredith doesn't need Miranda right now, she needs Dr Bailey.

The helicopter finally stopped on the helipad and the blades begin to slow down and become distinguishable. The doors flew open to reveal a dusty blonde paramedic covered in blood mounted ontop of the stretcher. I began to run towards them as the other paramedic jumped down and began pulling the stretcher down off of the helicopter. Owen leaped In and helped to lower it down. Then in a split-second, we were all running towards the elevator together with one joint objective. There hasn't been time to stop and think or even to look at Meredith, we all knew the severity as soon as the doors opened. The helicopter began to fly away, and I could finally hear what the paramedic was shouting,

"Female, mid-30s, severe laceration extending down her left shoulder, blunt trauma to the head and abdomen, severe crush wounds to both legs, definite fractures to both and a few ribs- we had turbulence so there wasn't enough time for a full evaluation",

His words echoed in my head as we ran towards the elevator.

The information was going in one ear and coming right out the next, I couldn't quite process what had just been told. I couldn't even bare to look at her right now, I just stared straight ahead.

OH- It was just like the war. I couldn't see all of Meredith, but I could see her blood-stained scrubs and the make-do measures that had been used to attempt to save her. She was holding on by threads, we were getting closer and closer to the elevator, the doors opened as soon as we got there, receding to reveal Callie stood there with her eyes wide with shock. Karev must have sent her up, the paramedic was right, we need as many hands as possible. Meredith's frail body was battered to within an inch of her life. Most her body was consumed by blood, I couldn't quite see the extent of the injuries beneath all of it and the doctor mounted on the stretcher administering CPR.

"Come on! LET'S GO!" we barrelled into the elevator, Callie jumped aside to make space for the army of people taking Meredith into the hospital. It was cramped, the noise and commotion of the helipad didn't subside as the door closed, with people shouting things across Meredith about her terrible state. Callie had snapped into action and was examining her legs with a look of pure terror in her eyes. I lunged towards the control panel and began desperately pounding the LEVEL 1 button… leaving a bead of blood trailing over it.

DR. OLLIE WATKINS- I hadn't taken my eyes off of her this whole time, I kept staring at her resting face, lifeless and unreactive to the mass of people running with her. After we had made it into the elevator, someone had offered to take over CPR, but it sounded like I was underwater, all the noise dulled, like nothing else mattered. I wasn't going to let Meredith leave me now, we just needed another miracle.

At long last, the elevator finally started moving, just enough for me to shift where I was compressing her chest just slightly, revealing a severely bruised chest, at the same time the once faint beeping of the portable monitor began sounding an alarm breaking through the underwater sound barrier I had donned. I shot my eyes upwards to see her BP crashing, ah shit! I pulled my hand away. Think Ollie!

THINK.

My eyes flew to Meredith's neck, I could see it from a mile away… jugular venous distention, her exterior jugular was bulging. Ok, Ollie, what's next?

THINK.

Uh-uh, um …. Fuck! What's next? Beck's triad was jugular venous distention, low BP and…. Um…. Muffled heart sounds! Yes, I reached into my pocket and fumbled for my stethoscope. I held it up to her bruised red chest… all I could hear was people shouting from all sides of me. "SHUT UP! EVERYONE", the elevator fell silent as everyone stared at me as if I was going crazy. I held the stethoscope to her chest, my hands shaking. Heart sounds were …muffled. Crap.

"…She's in cardiac tamponade" I whispered shaking my head.

"What? Why the hell would you say that?" One of the doctors exclaimed,

"Beck's triad!"

"Oh…Oh god. Oh, dear god. Um OK, someone stop the elevator!" The ginger attending commanded,

"What the-? Why are you doing that, we need to move now!" I yelled,

"No. She doesn't have that long. You have to do a paracardial synthesis to drain the blood"

That's why he stopped the elevator. Everyone in the elevator who was previously looking at him shot their eyes to me. For a second, there was stillness, a stillness of expectation lingering in the air, but we all knew what I had to do. We also all knew the risk.

I shut my eyes. This was too much. I needed Bella.

I was in an elevator, covered in blood, surrounded by doctors, on top of a patient who I wasn't going to let die at all costs.

At all costs.

I reached out to pick up the 18-gauge needle suspended in the air by one of the doctors. Then I prepared to stab Meredith in the chest… in an elevator, covered in blood, surrounded by doctors, on top of a patient who I wasn't going to let die… at all costs.

**Thanks for reading! It was quite a long one, now everyone is back at Seattle Grace, lots of drama/action to come **** Stay tuned, once again thanks for reviewing, it means the world- please keep them coming! Until next time….**

**(FYI, cardiac tamponade is what Mark had in the original greys finale, it is when you have excess blood in the paracardial sack (I think?))**


	14. No Time for Tears

**Wow, chapter 14! It flew by, I have loved writing this story and still have a lot up my sleeve so stay tuned **** I hope you like this chapter, once again sorry for the bad medical jargon, I try my best… haha! ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shonda Land**

DR. OLLIE WATKINS- The world froze. In an instant, I was underwater again, the alarms of the machines sounded as if they were a mile away. I held a scalpel in my shaking hand, trying to visualise the position just right. We didn't have an ultrasound, but this had to happen now.

…concentrate Ollie…. Concentrate…. I pierced her skin with the scalpel in my right hand, handed it off and held out my other hand. My other _shaking_ hand. I stared directly at Dr Hunt. After a slight nod he lowered the needle. I wrapped my fingers around it. My mind was racing. I turned to Meredith. I couldn't bear to look at her face, so I looked directly downwards at her bruised chest and the incision which was now bleeding, I inserted the needle about an inch in the direction of her shoulder. Don't piece the heart… Don't piece the heart… please don't piece the heart…. and then I heard something, I couldn't take my eyes off of the needle, but as I was guiding it in further, it got louder. It was a quite sort of groaning?

Oh no. Not now. Please not now.

It was Meredith.

She was groaning. Shit. She's woken up. Crap. Crap. Crap. I can't stop, I carried on pushing the needle in further and she began squirming in pain trying to take off the oxygen mask, Dr. Hunt held her down, but her groaning soon escalated to a scream and her squirming escalated to her writhing in pain. Come on, come on, come on, just a bit further… there.

Come on. Blood needed to come through… any second now, come on…. I had to risk it. I pushed the needle in just slightly further. And just for a moment, I thought, what if I was wrong, what if this needle was going directly into her heart. My mind was spinning with dread, until it was interrupted by the blood squirting out of the needle. I finally exhaled along with everyone else in the elevator. I was covered in blood since we hadn't had time to attach a bag, but it didn't matter, Meredith may just hold on for a bit longer.

AK- I've always been emotional. It was just part of me. But growing up on the farm, watching my childhood pets be slaughtered everyday helped me to build up a thick skin.

But at times, just sometimes, that tough skin softens. That was the case with Reed, seeing your best friend in a pool of blood on the floor shot in the head doesn't just dull the tough skin but it shatters it. It took me a year of therapy to even think about her without having a mental breakdown. But still, the cracks were there and right now they were being tested.

I was running down the hall with both hands braced on the edge of the stretcher willing it to move faster. The stretcher holding Derek Shepherd, the man who made sure I went to therapy for that year, I wouldn't be the person or surgeon I am today if it weren't for Derek Shepherd. But right now, the roles were switched, I held his life in my hands.

As we were approaching the trauma room, Derek continued to ask us about Meredith, but we all knew that was the shock talking. The beeping of the monitor had been fast but consistent which was reassuring suddenly increased to a blaring alarm signalling low blood pressure, as well as Derek's eyes rolling to the back of his head and relaxing his previously tense frame.

As we ran into the room, I began barking orders just like Hunt taught me to,

"We need a blood panel, send blood for a cross match! Someone get an CT now! Stomach is severely bruised and distended, showing signs of ecchymosis around the liver" I was so focussed on yelling and examining Derek I didn't even notice Arizona doing a neuro exam, she knew this was no time for thinking like friends, Derek needed surgeons and we needed to stop being friends and be those surgeons.

I reached out to the Intern holding the portable ultrasound and flicked my wrist to position it over Derek's chest, it almost felt like a formality now, all signs pointed towards internal bleeding and as the ultrasound just proved, there was blood in the abdomen, likely a ruptured liver but we needed a CT to confirm. I threw my head up to Arizona, with one look, one look filled with sadness but also purpose, we began wheeling Derek towards CT. Running past the other trauma room which seemed to be full of yelling.

AK- "Shhshssh, you're safe Yang!" she carried on yelling. "Oh, for god's sake, will you just shut up already?!"

"B-but Meredith! She needs a hospital! Please listen Alex! She needs you, go find her, help her!"

"Yes-Yes I know, will you just stay still for a second, Bailey has got her, she just came in"

"A-a-and Lexie, please Alex, go help them!"

"I will but can you please just let me help you first!" I shouted back. She had been like this ever since she woke up, thankfully, she was the best off out of all of them, apart from superficial wounds, she just had a bad break in a few places down her arm where the impact must have been. It was still bad though, one of the worst actually, I'd never seen a compound fracture like it. I had paged Callie but regretted it as soon as I had, Meredith needed her by the sounds of it. It made me wretch just thinking about Meredith in danger _again_. I couldn't lose anyone else, I had only just got to seeing Meredith as my family, or my 'person' or whatever they called it. The most I could do for her at the moment was help Yang since she was part of our little fucked up family however much I hated to admit it.

After I shouted at her, silence fell over the room, just to be replaced by the beeping of the monitors and our heavy breathing. I held eye contact with Cristina with almost identical tears appearing at both of our eyes. Just then, while I had her still and concentrated, I snapped her arm back into place. Her piercing scream echoed through the whole hospital.

CT- There was a moment of silence as Hunt reached to the elevator buttons as if it was in slow motion.

Everyone was covered in blood, standing there staring at the doctor who had just done the impossible. It threw me back to heart in the elevator. I smiled to myself, Yang and Grey were so jealous. But George was dead now… I'm not going to lose Grey too.

As the elevator doors thrummed open, it felt as if everyone snapped out of the trance of shock everyone had been in. All hands reached for the stretcher carrying our suffering friend and we began running.

MG- There is a certain type of pain. The type of pain doctors warn you of, the pain which is all consuming as if needles were stabbing every inch of your body.

I understand that pain now. As soon as I felt any semblance of consciousness, the pain exploded in every area of my body, all I could see was a blinding whiteness which made the world feel like it was spinning. Though it all though I could feel one of those needles more than any other. On my chest, someone was doing something, it felt like that specific needle was double the length and dipped in alcohol, only to be jammed right in my heart.

The silhouettes in my vision froze for a second, before moving again, the light became flashing, as I head people yelling over me accompanied by the rattle of the hospital floor. At least that's where I think I am? I couldn't feel anything apart from the dizzying electric current of pain making its way through my veins, but every now and then, I could feel a pressure on my bruised hand, it hurt but it helped.

CT- "She's crashing! RUN!"

**Oooooooh, sorry to be leaving you guys with so many cliff-hangers! But it's so fun! Hahaha, I hope you liked this chapter, loving the reviews, keep them coming, I will try to update soon but I have a lot of work, so we'll see…. **


	15. Vital Moments

**Heyo! A bit of a shorter chapter, but here goes! Really sorry I had to repost this chapter, it had all my notes at the bottom! I hope I didn't spoil anything for you. Stay tuned, writing the next chapter as we speak!**

**Enjoy… **

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shonda land**

JA- People were frozen lining the edge of the hallways, Hunt obviously hadn't done a very good job of keeping this underwraps, or maybe it was the screams coming from the direction of the elevator. I didn't have time to turn and look, my sole focus was on Mark and Lexie, I gripped my hands on the edge of Lexie's stretcher so much so that my knuckles were going white. I almost fell with each step I ran down the hallway. Crowds were beginning to emerge outside the trauma rooms… I don't know what came over me but I began to shout " GET OUT THE WAY! MOVE! NOW!" though my panting breaths.

Actually, in hindsight, I know what came over me. Complete and utter fear.

It looked like Yang and Shephard were in 1 and 2 so we reversed into 3 together. I immedietly threw myself towards Lexie's hand, there was no time to hesitate as she was losing blood by the second. I grabbed some scissors off of the surgical tray, it shook as I carelessly moved my hand quickly towards Lexie. I couldn't hear myself think over my panting, but I just let muscle memory take over. I let instinct take hold. I had been dealing with trauma for at least 5 years now, I was used to much worse, I began pulling apart the bandage. It had at least four layers of different fabrics which had obviously been wrapped around over and over again. The most worrying part was that Lexie had already bled through to the fourth layer… I carefully pulled it apart, putting to use my plastics experience. Peeling back layer after layer, I couldn't distinguish where the layers where anymore through the sea of blood.

I take back what I said, I have been dealing with trauma for a long time now, but NEVER like this. It looked like someone had taken a knife to her wrist and pulled it around 100 times, I could almost see through to the bone. Tinges of yellow began infringing on the edge of the gashes showing obvious infection. At the look of her hand which was grazed all over with cuts and infections consuming almost all of it, I wretched. I didn't just wretch at the extent of the wound, but the extent of Lexie's wound. It was Lexie, while I would never say it, I loved her. I still do. I think people can move on but she will always hold a place in my heart.

Right now it felt like my heart was being ripped in half.

The paramedic, Bella ripped me from my trance, "No…no…no"

"What's happening?" Mark croaked drearily

"How about this?"

"n-n-no… what's happening?"

"Shit. Dr Avery, we have to go now!"

I looked over my shoulder as if in slow motion, I couldn't take any more of this. But, through my tears I could make out Bella desperately tapping Mark all over his bruised legs trying for a reaction or any trace of sensation. But nothing.

Nothing. None.

No. No. No. No! NO! NOT MARK.

MB- We had frozen in the hallway, at least 7 of us surrounding the stretcher all lifting our hands up in surrender as the paramedic jumped down to let Owen shock Meredith. He held the paddles to her chest and bellowed,

"Charge to 150! … CLEAR" … BZZZT.

Nothing. The flatline remained, moving but unmoving. The sound of the electric buzz lingered in the air as Owen stared at the monitor.

"Charge to 200! …CLEAR" …. BZZZT.

Meredith's whole body raised from the stretcher, only making her shoulder bleed worse, but the paramedic could only hold it when she wasn't being shocked. It wouldn't matter if we couldn't get her back.

Owen stared hopelessly up at the monitor with everyone else. It seemed that everyone had stopped down the other end of the hallway staring at the group of bloodied people surrounding a single stretcher.

"Come on Meredith! Charge to 300! …"

" ! Her body can't manage another!" one of the other doctors shouted

Hunt didn't even acknowledge him, we knew she likely couldn't handle another shock of that size, but we had nothing left now "CLEAR!"

BZZZZZZZT.

Silence fell upon the hallway, the only sound being the piercing beeeeeeeeeeep of the monitor, it had been going for so long it just sounded like white noise now. So much so, I stopped hearing it, only Dr Watkins panting as he administered CPR. Even Owen had retreated with the paddles, standing there staring at the monitor, a single tear creeping down his cheek. The paramedic was desperately administering CPR, I couldn't watch anymore.

So I pushed him aside and began with all my effort pushing down on Meredith's bruised chest. She was strong. She had been through so much in her life, she just needed to give us a chance to save her. I can't loose another intern, they were like my children. Idiotic but I loved them all the same. All the effort I wished I could have given George went into my compressions. I felt a crack beneath my hands but I carried on. You had to go in at least 2 inches to make any difference and right now I needed to make as much difference as possible.

It was so quiet I may not have even heard it if it weren't for the tense silence which had fallen aross the hallway. But it was something, a slight tone from the monitor. V-Fib.

"Charge to 120!" I took the paddles off of Hunt's frozen hands, "CLEAR!"

Silence

"Charge to 150! CLEAR!" I was shaking with adrenalin. Come on Meredith, don't do this to me now. We are so close!

"Come on Bailey, she is gone. Hunt tried!"

As if on que, the beeping started again, at least 5 seconds apart but that was all we needed. A rhythm.

I squinted my eyes shut, tears fell down my face, I inhaled. Collected myself. Then dropped the paddles and ran, ran for her life.


	16. Beyond Repair

**Hi guys! Welcome back to 'When it comes crashing down', or probably more now after everything has come crashing down **** , don't worry loads more drama to come. Staay tuned for a cliff-hanger…**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shonda Land**

MB- I was staring straight ahead, half at my reflection, half forwards to people sprinting around Meredith lying lifelessly on the table, trying to prep her for surgery past all of the mud and bruises painted over her body. The cold water on my hands went right to my bones, I felt frozen, stiff with fear, the beams of water felt like they were penetrating through my hands. They were shaking, it was small but I felt the fear taking control of me. One large inhale, I shook my hands raised them then strode out of the scrub room.

CT- It was horrific. But however, horrifying these 'Frankenstein' stitches were, they were the only thing that has kept her alive this long. I just can't imagine how painful it was for the person who had to do them, but most of all for Grey who wouldn't have had any anaesthetic or type of numbing. I was sat at the end of the surgical table as people were running around, splashing betadine over her chest, trying to rub off as much of the ash and mud so they could see through to her wounds, but it was a race now.

And we were losing.

It was clear that she had severe fractures to her left tibula and fibula, but everything was shattered in her right leg, the question now wasn't about the break but whether we need to amputate or not. Tears pooled at my eyes as my hands scanned over her legs, I thought of Zola and Sofia. I couldn't take Meredith's leg, Zola was already a handful enough, she needed her leg. So, I started. I didn't care that Bailey was only just walking in, who had obviously been crying in the scrub room. I reached out my trembling hand, no Callie, no fear. It stilled just enough. Then I yelled,

"Ten-Blade!"

JA- My eyeline was dead set on the screens of the X-Ray, I paced back and forth, unable to keep my limbs from shaking when I sat down. Bella, the paramedic, sat there, staring at me probably wondering if I was really a doctor instead of some escaped psyc patient. I breathed up and down gripping my clammy hands together. My whole body was tense. As the scan loaded up, my eyes followed the loading sign in the circle, tracing every move. The scan began to appear, loading slowly but as the images of his brain began to appear, I felt my tears follow it down my face. Bella's eyes were peeled wide open following the scan as it rolled down the screen.

My heart sunk, it was just what I had expected but never let myself think. A damaged spinal cord. I couldn't think properly as I slammed the door open to the X Ray and began unlocking his stretcher to get him to surgery. The sooner we operated, the better. My heart sank once again even further when I remembered the best neurosurgeon in all of Seattle was going to be in the OR next door, but just as helpless as I am in this situation.

Bella ran in behind me as I was fumbling with the brakes on the stretcher, my foot kept stamping next to the brake, not making any sort of contact. It didn't help that my eyes were blurred with tears. Bella reached onto my hand, stopping it from shaking.

"Dr Avery…" she slowed my rush of thoughts just enough so I could hear my chest heaving from adrenalin.

"Slow down. You are no use to Mark when you are an emotional wreck. Just breathe"

I couldn't seem to catch a normal breathing pattern, with my breaths being laced with random sobs escaping my throat. Bella tightened her grip around my hand, bracing my shaking shoulders with her other hand. I slowly turned my head towards her. I stared deeply into her striking hazel eyes. They were a blur, but I felt her looking at me. For a second, she was holding me, staring at me as tears rolled down my cheeks. I was hypnotised. One large inhale together, then everything snapped back to the commotion it previously was. But just for a second, she helped, it was if she understood my mess of emotions which even I couldn't seem to decrypt.

AK- "Yang! Come back! Jesus Cristina!" I panted as I ran down the hallways after a hobbling Cristina Yang. She had made a break for it as soon as her arm was wrapped up. She must have heard my 911 Paige to the OR.

It seemed like she was heading towards the gallery, but it was obvious she was struggling, her arm was bleeding through the bandages and she left a trail of blood from where her arm was dripping where she pulled out her IV. For someone in bad shape, she still managed to outrun me. She was almost there though, but slowing down slightly, beginning to push herself off walls as she ran around the corners. I don't think she would have managed any further. But all of a sudden, she was gone- having spun herself around and into the gallery. I was panting as I swung around the doorframe into the OR gallery. I didn't want to spook her again… so I stopped. My chest was heaving but nowhere near as much as her. It must be because of the dehydration, she only had half an hour of fluids. But as I slowly approached her standing staring at the glass, I saw her good hand was braced over her mouth, covering her sobbing face. A face which I had never seen defying her usual emotions of confidence and smugness. I looked down and I understood why.

I was frozen looking over her shoulder down at Derek coding on the OR table. Kepner was flying her hands back and forth trying to find the source of the bleeding. I hadn't seen much but I heard that Derek had severe stomach injuries, this was obviously the repercussions. We would have been delusional to think that there wouldn't be any internal bleeding.

This was Derek Shepherd, Meredith's McDreamy, the man who was practically my older brother by now. Not that I'd ever admit it. But Meredith needed him and I need Meredith.

I couldn't let Yang watch anymore, I don't know what they'd been through and I never will but it sounded like living hell. It was unspoken, people didn't need to describe the mangled plane or the sound of the screams to understand the impact this crash had had. Yang was still frozen, blood pooling at her feet dripping from her arm. Mirroring the tears falling down her face. Between her whimpers of sobs, she was whispering something.

"please don't die. Please don't die. Please don't die"

It was clear that wasn't only for Derek.

OH- It was difficult to make out one singular voice in the OR, people were yelling about her decreasing stats…. Shattered legs…. Butchered shoulder… infection … severe … critical … not going to make it – "SHUT UP! EVERYONE!"

The OR hushed, everyone was torn between looking at me with my bloodied hands raised in the sky or the medical miracle on the table in severe need of urgent care.

"She needs us to be focussed- not flustered. Can you manage that?"

Silence

"I said CAN YOU MANAGE THAT?"

A scrub nurse burst into the OR room leaving the door swinging. The squeaking of the hinges reverberating off of the walls. She was holding a tablet staring at me, "Dr Hunt—" she scanned the frozen, silent OR "… Um Dr Grey's labs are up…"

"Not right now!" I exclaimed

"Um, you might want to hear this."

I stared at her in shock, as if she didn't know who was on the table, how much this girl means to everyone in this room, and the vital seconds that she was wasting.

"U-uh, Mered- I mean, Dr Grey… is… um"

"Come on, spit it out!" as I turned to pick the scalpel back up, she piped up.

"Dr Grey is 10 weeks pregnant."

**Oooooo, sorry this chapter took so long, I hope you like it! I plan to continue this story if you guys are still enjoying, make sure to let me know. I love reading all your reviews, please keep them coming! Let me know with anything you want to come up/ anything you liked or didn't like I guess! Anyways, thanks for reading! See you next time with more drama…**


	17. Hidden Truths

**Hiya guys! Sorry this one took so long, I am at the moment, but still I think this is one of the longest chapters yet, hope you enjoy. FYI BD is Bella Davies, one of the paramedics. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shonda Land**

CT- It tore me away from working on her leg. How the fuck didn't she tell us? We are her best friends, Yang would have told us if she knew... but she was in such a bad state when she came in, there are no guarantees "u-uh, Paige Alex Karev, tell him to get as much information about the baby from Yang". The response was silence, with all of the surgeons, I take that back, all of Meredith's family still frozen around the table with their jaws dropped in shock. But I think it was half shock, half dread. It looked more like people were stood around the table mourning at a funeral. Everyone knew the baby was likely dead, but Meredith was still wide open on the table, half of her shredded internal organs in full view. If the crash didn't kill the baby the surgery will have.

Yet still everyone was frozen at the news like it made any sort of difference to her care. Ever since George, I made a promise to myself to not let any other single member of my family to die. Meredith was part of that family.

"Why are you all standing around? We have to move!" The nurse shuffled out of the room to Paige Alex, then some of the OR nurses began fiddling around with the instruments, but still in slow motion,

"Come on! Hunt? Bailey? Why have you stopped?"

Bailey stood frigid with her bloodied gloves frozen mid-air staring behind the curtain at Meredith's face. Hunt had lost all expression in his eyes, but I knew his heart was breaking, all of ours were, but we had to carry on or Meredith would most definitely die.

"Bailey, I know you are shocked, but we have to help her— "

"I know! I know! Just shush..." she held up her shaking hand to me.

"Bailey please. I can page Webber if you can't carry on"

"I can't. I can't be responsible for not trying...Meredith would never forgive me, I can't kill her baby"

"Miranda, she won't be alive for you her to forgive you!" I pointed to Meredith's open body cavity, "Look Miranda, the baby wouldn't have made it! It is dead!" By now I was standing up with my scalpel in my hand, tears rolling down my face as I tried to convince her. It was painful but we had to at least give Meredith a chance at surviving this.

"Hunt come on! We are surgeons, it's clear she won't make it if we don't finish!"

"Torres sit down. Everyone listen up. We are already in damage control surgery, it is unlikely she would make it any longer under anaesthetic, she has a better chance of surviving if we wait a day…Hands up in favour of temporary vacuum closure."

Seriously, he has got to be joking me.

Yet slowly bloody gloved hands began raising from Meredith's lifeless body when they should be operating!

"Ok then, it's decided. Damage control it is."

Bailey was still starting at Meredith's head with tears rolling down her face, I couldn't stand this. I turned to the ortho fellow who was assisting, "finish up here.", and I ran out of the OR.

AK- Oh God, where is this bleeding coming from!? I swear I've looked everywhere, why was he still crashing? Just as I was losing hope, Webber strode in from the scrub room,

"I came as soon as I heard, what's the situation?" He bellowed as he was getting gloved.

"Massive internal bleeding to the liver and abdomen, I still can't find the location of the bleeding"

As he walked around to this side of the table I lunged aside and around to the other side. I am good but Derek needs the best right now. Richard navigated his organs like riding a bike, seamlessly reaching under each feeling for the bleed. And if I am right, he wasn't even looking. The man is a surgical legend. A surgical legend saving another surgical legend.

Then, he didn't even have to say, it was just his ease in posture that showed. He found the bleed. Everyone in the OR exhaled. But the monitors didn't calm. The bleeding had stopped, but Derek was still crashing. Webber's relaxed posture tensed once again. As he stared helplessly at the monitor, it couldn't be the bleed doing that, we had just stopped it.

It must be his heart. Almost in sync we shouted, "Page cardio!"

JA- it was not good. Actually, worse than that, it was horrific. All the monitors were blaring, warning us of worrying heart rates and low BP, all things we were well aware of, but just had to carry on working or they had no chance of ever silencing to more than a flatline. I was sat by Lexie's hand, well not really sitting, more like tensely squatting. I couldn't sit down in a time like this, I would cry for sure. I was almost done on her hand, it was terrible, but I know Lexie, she's a fighter- but we won't know for now. There is still a high chance she could lose it, but I tried my best, channelling everything Mark ever taught me, it was as if it all built up to this, saving someone we both love. Still though, her stats were worrying. Her labs had come back before we started surgery to confirm sepsis. It was deadly in the best of cases, but we had done all we can now. All we can do is wait.

I heaved myself off of the stool, pushing it halfway across the room. Maybe that was a bit too aggressive. I continued to tear off my gloves and gown throwing them into surgical waste as I flung the OR door open. Actually, you know what, I am allowed to be aggressive because I am angry! I am fucking frustrated at Mark, at Lexie! I am fucking pissed at Meredith, Derek and Yang for even getting in that crash! ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR! I am so furious, I am past fear, it is shit, this is shit, this is NOT RIGHT, they don't deserve this! Zola needs parents, I need mark, I couldn't live without Lexie. I clamped my hands down on the edge of the scrub room sink to stop myself from collapsing the ground. I tasted blood as I tensed every part of my body in pure fucking anger, my teeth were gritting as I mumbled angered grunts. I wish it was me! No one fucking needs me, I should have been in that fucking crash! It doesn't deserve to be any of them! THIS IS SO FUCKING SHIT!

BD- It was as if he was in his own bubble. No doubt that bubble was full of fear and grief, from what I heard, these surgeons were all pretty tight knit. Jackson finished closing as I was suturing Lexie's head, it was late in the night and not many surgeons were on call, so I had decided to stay and help, it's what was right and Jesus, I have got Lexie this far, I'm not going to let her go now.

It was obvious Jackson felt the same way, overcome with helplessness as we all knew this was a waiting game now. He had stormed out the OR and seemingly was having a breakdown in the scrub room. Anyone would leave him, I know, I know, he needs to grieve in peace or at least with friends. But right now, it seemed like all his friends were the ones on the table. Ollie would tell me to go in there, I know he would. I approached quietly, like someone trying not to spook a puppy. Gently pushing the door open, hearing the slight squeal beneath Jackson's sobbing and, um, groaning? I stood in the doorway... crap... maybe this was the wrong thing to do... I had helped him earlier, but he hadn't just operated on Lexie then. I should go. Yeah. That'd be the right thing. But Ollie's voice echoed in my head, _just because someone might not want help doesn't mean they don't need it. _I took a step in, still seemingly he hadn't been torn out of his, how do I put it... state.

"Jackson?", he continued to mutter under his breath with erratic breathing whilst shaking his head.

"Jackson look at me, Jackson?" He peered up from previously staring downwards at the sink which was catching his tears, his blue eyes were blurred by them as he shakily made eye contact. I began slowly moving over to him, pulling off my scrub cap revealing my messy ginger hair falling down at my shoulders, I whispered to him,

"Breathe. It isn't your fault. Lexie is going to be fine. Dr Nelson is going to help Mark. You are fine".

I slowly braced his shaky shoulders as I guided him down to the floor with me. My sister used to get panic attacks and she always found it helpful to get close to ground, it almost reminded her what was real and hard, and what was in her head. I won't lie, half of me was expecting him to fling my hands off of him and punch a wall, but he sobbed harder and let me help him to the floor.

He was muttering to himself, occasionally elongating a sob to a groan of pain probably for one of his wounded friends. He fell sideways, onto my shoulder pulling my hair down with him but it didn't matter, he sobbed less, his body slowing to an occasional jerk to catch his breath. I felt the edge of my scrubs getting wet from his teary face, but it almost felt like I was taking some of his tears. Easing his pain just a little. It felt good.

AK- "What do we do? Webber!? What do we do?", Cardio still wasn't here, we had to open up his chest, now exposing his heart. Well not really, it was all blood no heart in sight, Webber and I were using suction to evacuate as much of the blood as we could, but still we had to resort to shovelling out as much as we could. Both of our surgical gowns were caked in blood as well as my shoes being soaked. I was past caring now, I need to get him out of this alive, we just need a cardiothoracic surgeon, now. Webber knows a lot, but he has been specialised for a very long time, even he needs help sometimes.

Every time we scooped blood out of Derek's chest cavity, it immediately was replaced at an even quicker pace, we were losing. Derek's heart was beating in extremely irregular rhythms now, I wouldn't even call them rhythms more like completely random beeps. It's like even his heart was unsure of what to do.

Just as the blood felt like it was soaking through my scrubs and gloves, I heard the static of the intercom come on. I spun around to try see who was up there… Still moving my hands in and out of the pool of blood,

"Feel the arteries" came through the intercom.

I focussed my vision. It was Yang.

"If you want to save his life, I need to know what his arteries feel like" her cool relaxed, croaky voice came through, echoing throughout a stunned but chaotic OR. Webber and I spun to each other, both knowing that Yang shouldn't be there, but we would take any advice we could get now.

I plunged my hand into the blood, feeling for any ar- THERE! Got one, it was rock hard.

"Yang, it is hard, really hard"

She echoed what just connected the dots in my mind

"Aortic dissection"

It was unlikely but possible, I would have never even thought to check. I spun my head away for a second to see Yang and her smug face, but she wasn't there anymore.

I craned my neck to see her collapsed in Alex Karev's arms.

**Wow, a long one! I hope you guys are still interested, thanks for all the favourites, follows, reviews, everything! It all means loads to me. I have quite a busy week but I will plan it and then start writing Thursday-ish so stay tuned for another action-packed instalment **


	18. Adrenalin Rush

**Ahhh! Sorry this took so long, just have been swamped lately! Hopefully, when the summer kicks in I will have less work and will be able to post more, tell me If you guys want to see anything happen- I have a rough plan and you may already see some of the storylines coming forwards, but I love anything you have to say. FYI AK in this chapter is Alex Karev not April, In future I will do AKa and Ake **

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shonda Land**

AK- I felt her whole weight slump into my arms, she had gone completely limp. I had to adjust my stance to fully take her weight. "Get a gurney in here stat!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I heard the intercom crackling with mutters of Kenner and Webber asking about Yang and her status, as well as urgently calling orders about Derek's heart. It really did seem like everything was coming crashing down.

The nurses ran into the gallery with a gurney, helping me to carefully raise Cristina onto it. I eased my shaky hands to wipe the blood off of her arm to reinsert her IV, squeezing it as we went into the hallway to make sure the most fluids as possible could get to her. She was obviously dehydrated and malnourished. She desperately needed rest and seeing her best friend's husband crashing on the OR table wasn't helping that. I gave her hand a squeeze, which seemed to wake her up slightly, she began to move it up to take off the oxygen mask, whispering for Meredith, I held her hand down and nodded. Slowly, the gurney was rolled away, I held her hand for as long as I could, but it fell away as she got rolled the other way. I stood there frozen in the halls… the halls I once felt so scared in, which I had come to love, it was my home, it was where I survived my internship, found love, fell out of love, found my family. But all at once, I felt helpless again. No longer a competent senior resident. Just a helpless boy. Losing everyone around him.

My pager continued to buzz, calling for attention in my pocket. I reached down and pulled it out, dropping something as i did it. I reached to the floor to pick up... to... um... to pick up Mer's stupid hair band she had made me take ages ago. It was a night shift we were working. A lump appeared in my throat. She had um, given me her hairband as a joke, she was saying how I was such a girl around all the peds patients, playing with the dolls. It made tears appear at my eyes as I remembered in my other hand my pager was calling at me to go to the OR where they were trying to keep her alive.

JA- She made it. She made it through all of that. I knew she could, Lexie was strong, but that didn't stop the guilt. I felt washed in it. I should've been on that plane, I should've taken her place, she didn't deserve any of this.

I held her face, knowing her hand was as delicate as china at the moment, her whole hand and wrist were in a full cast, which would undoubtedly come off for a series of follow up surgeries. Surgeries I knew I wouldn't handle. The only reason I finished the last one was because of Bella, her eyes on me felt…better. I felt safer. I know that's strange because I only just met her and yet she makes me feel this way…. but I can deal with strange.

CT- Tears were rolling down my face as I braced my knees into my chest. I was slumped on the wall, outside the OR with my scrub cap still on. I fiddled with my ring, imagining if that was Arizona, she was about to get on that plane, but Sofia needed picking up from school and I was in surgery. Arizona could have been in that surgery. My Arizona.

But no, it had to be one of my best friends instead with a shattered leg and churned internal organs. What's more, she had a baby. Which was most likely dead, but even if she did make it, the grief would be just as painful as passing.

I raised my head from my hands to catch a breath between my sobs, staring at the white blur of the hospital corridor lighting. Breathe Callie. It's going to be fine. As I began to slowly push myself back up, I heard footsteps sprinting down the corridor. It was Alex. His scrubs were blood stained and his face blotchy from tears, not a common occurrence.

He was running at full speed, this was not what anyone needed. I pushed myself to my feet and grabbed his shoulders as he was running. "Breathe Alex"

"B-but Meredith, how's Mer? Why aren't you in the OR helping!? Why are you crying, is she ok!? Why aren't you helping Callie!?" He said through strained breaths.

"Breathe Alex"

As he caught his breath, the tears came with it, he used his bloody hands to wipe them away. But he wasn't sad. His body didn't show any signs of sadness or grief.

He was angry, just as I clocked the meaning of those tears, he flung my hands off of me and ran into the OR.

AK- I threw the door from the scrub room open. The OR was empty. No one to be seen, except a massive pool of blood, lap pads and surgical instruments splayed on the floor. It was like a bomb had gone off. My eyes darted from one side of the room to the next, as if it was going to suddenly reveal my best friend ok in the corner. But no. Nothing. Just an eerie silence where the steady beeping of a heart monitor should be.

I spun around again in a split second, chucking the surgical mask I had held to my face to the blood-stained floor. The scrub room was a blur as I pivoted around the doorframe gripping it as I went. I made a bee line directly for Callie who was stumbling down the corridor with her back hunched. I grabbed her by the shoulder, "Where is Me- "

"Alex, I tried to tell you! She came out ten minutes ago, check ICU"

I knew it before she had even said it and began sprinting to the elevator not sparing her a second look. I pounded the button trying to force the elevator to come quicker. My hands were shaking. That was not a normal amount of blood. Explains the 911 at least. I tapped my foot and tensed my fists trying to dull the shaking as I held on. Come on, come on, come on, ugh! Thank god! The doors finally pulled themselves apart, I sprung in, then began to rapidly press the close button. Come on…. I have to see her. She can't do this alone, Mer puts up a front, we all know it but behind it all, she needs someone.

Finally, the elevator began moving, I stared at the slit in the door. I couldn't seem to focus on anything, right now it was just a black blur. Adrenalin was masking any of my normal senses. I needed to see her, she has to be alive, what are you talking about Alex, of course she's alive. Hunt and Bailey would never let anything happen to her. Come on, come on, come on. I wiped away the tears again. My hand was clinging to the hairband in my pocket, reminding me of her. Funny, loving, loyal, honest her.

As the door slowly slid open, I lunged outwards, directly forwards, jumping past the stretcher being rolled down the corridor, knocking over the IV as I went. I heard yells of 'slow down' and 'what do you think you're doing' but it didn't matter. The doors parted as I approached, just fast enough to avoid me crashing into them. The ICU was silent compared to the bustling corridor, slow beeping filled the air, as well as hushed tones of people whispering. I felt like my ears had just popped, suddenly dulling what had once been so loud. Everything moved in slow motion, like people didn't know that lives were on the line. I continued to run forwards, looking into all the rooms, damn it, where is she? I felt my feet getting heavier as my adrenalin dulled. If she wasn't here, the only place she could be was the morgue. Shit Alex, come on, stop it, keep going, come on Mer, come on…

Then it all snapped into place, I saw it, the bed with Meredith's lifeless body lying hooked up to every possible machine, her skin as pale as paper. I braced myself on the nurse's station, my chest was heaving, moving my whole body up and down as I tried to regain some sort of normal breathing pattern, but my breathing was laced with shock. My knees buckled and the tears flowed. I think a few of them were happy Meredith was here, but most of them were for, well, this. Whatever the fuck had done this.

I couldn't feel Hunt and Bailey holding my shoulders trying to stop me hypervelitating. I pushed myself off the floor and towards the room. I stumbled to the edge of the bed, my whole body shuddering with a blend of adrenalin, tears, shock. My hands shook as I tried to touch Meredith's hand, instead I settled for slowly stroking her head. Her face was still stained with ash despite obvious efforts to clean it off, it remained almost like a scar. Her face was cut at the forehead, cheekbone and jaw, that still doesn't even explain the bandage going around her whole head. Her body was covered by a blanket.

I wasn't sure. No. I knew I didn't want to see what was under there. Yet still my shaky hand began to float towards it. I felt Owen's hand pull mine back. One on my shoulder, one stopping me from seeing something which I would regret.

**Hope you enjoyed! Glad to be writing again- let me know what you think **


	19. Invisible Walls

**Welcome back to our little corner of ! Thanks for all of your input/reviews etc, I love hearing from you, it is still so surreal to me that people actually care about this story, anyway, this Is the next chapter! Enjoy**

AKEP – I braced myself on the door frame as I looked in at Derek lying, hanging on for his life in that bed. Just next-door was Cristina, hooked up to all sorts of machines, unconscious. Anyone that looked at her wouldn't recognise her as the woman who saved Derek Shephard's life. Webber and I are good doctors. I know that. But we just didn't see it, we didn't clock that it was his heart, and we wouldn't have if it weren't for her. By the time we even suspected it, it would've been too late. The thought of that made me grip the door frame even harder.

The ICU was a different dimension from the rest of the hospital. The layout is almost alien, with all the rooms surrounding the circular nurse's station. The rooms are marked by the invisible walls, only distinguishable because of the slight reflection from the unforgiving lights. The invisible walls were in place to _maybe_, possibly, just _maybe_ give the nurses an extra second to pull a patient back from the light. A chance to stop them leaving this world. Derek told me once, '_the ICU is the pitstop to the morgue, they are closer to death than we are to life_' I remember being shocked that he would say such a thing since he is usually so optimistic, but I came to find out that he didn't tell me that to scare me. He was Derek Shephard, he told me that because there was a small chance that '_these people would take a U-turn and leave that pitstop, and April, we are here to make sure they do that_'.

Derek was always the one to look at the best-case scenario, try to navigate something seemingly 'impossible'. Right now, I have to be the one to solve his 'impossible case' and make sure he took that U-turn.

I felt my knuckles relax off of the door frame as I saw Jackson walk along behind me. He hadn't left Lexie's bedside ever since she came out of surgery. She was the first one to wake up, I heard the gasps and tears, but I was too busy with Derek to visit her. It's good to know Jackson wasn't too much of an emotional mess to leave the room. I grabbed his arm slowly as I spun around, "How is she?"

"Oh, uh Lexie? She's doing well, BP is still low, but improving", his eyes were distant, his mind in a different place.

"Ah, um, that's good! That's good, isn't it Jackson, Jackson?"

His eyes had detached from mine, looking just over my shoulder. They opened slightly in shock as if to predict how he was about to sprint past me. I felt my shoulder pushed aside. I pulled my head around to see what on earth he was running towards.

Meredith?

Bailey was stood at the door of Meredith's room with her hand braced over her mouth, tears threatening to flood her face. Please don't be what I think.

Jackson had spun and was staring into the room, shaking his head. Please don't be what I think.

I heard more sobs as I approached, pulling me forwards into a jog. Please don't be what I think.

I bumped into Jackson as I turned to see in the room. Alex was crying into Hunt's arms over Meredith's lifeless body. Please don't be what I think.

"No, no, no, no, please no… Bailey? Bailey, please no, no, don't say it"

Jackson's head continued to shake in denial. Please don't be what I think. Please don't be what I think. Please don't be what I think.

"Hunt! Alex! No! Please don't…. i-i-is she…." Tears overwhelmed me.

It was what I didn't want to think. Meredith Grey was dead. The monitors were silent.

I can't breathe. No, no!

MB- It was heart wrenching. I couldn't watch Alex do this knowing there was a slight possibility that we had just killed Meredith's child, looking at him now sobbing into Owen's arms confirmed that he would never be able to take it. I saw Jackson and April standing in the doorway now, they can't tell him, it should never have left that OR. April stood there pleading for me 'not to say it?', I hadn't talked to her since the helicopter and I have no clue what she might know or not. I pulled her whimpering body away from the doorway and out into the silence of the corridor. Her blue eyes stared into mine shimmering with tears.

"April, don't say anything, Alex can't know"

"W-what?! You aren't going to tell him Meredith is dead? Miranda, why wouldn't- "

"What on earth are you talking about? Meredith is alive! What are you saying that for?"

"B-b-but the machines were off, a-and Alex!? Alex, why is he- "

"Doesn't he have the right to be upset?! Meredith almost, no Meredith died! Meredith died in that OR, he had the right to be distraught. The machines were off because Alex was having a panic attack and Meredith's shitty vitals aren't going to help anything. Jesus, Kepner I thought you were a doctor! Meredith is alive"

She just stared at me with her wide blue eyes, trying to process everything. Tears remained at the brim of her eyes, her eyelids shaking.

I hated her for thinking such a thing as Meredith being dead, but I thought that just a mere hour ago, so I pulled her into my arms. Letting my scrubs absorb her tears. I heard her mumble into my shoulder, "I-I-I thought we'd lost her…."

"Shshssshhhsshh, it's ok, she's ok"

But in my head, I knew she wouldn't be if she ever found out about that baby.

AKEP- She wasn't dead. Thank God. My whole body relaxed, I am not ready to lose anyone yet. No chance. I couldn't stay any longer, Alex was weeping and I'm sure I wouldn't help anything with my puffy eyes at Meredith's bedside. I thanked Bailey and walked back to Derek's room. I tried to focus all my emotions on my patient. Not Derek, not Meredith. Derek is just my patient, one who I need to save.

Just as I spun around the corner to check on Derek's vitals, I saw someone sitting by his bed. Cristina.

Cristina was sitting at the edge of his bed speaking to him, a conscious him. Derek was awake! Oh my god, this is amazing! But all the happiness which was consuming me didn't seem to be radiating to the room. Cristina had a sombre look painted over her face, speaking in a hushed tone but that was more likely due to her being so dehydrated and not being able to push her voice any further. I stood just outside the door waiting for them, I would intervene at some point, but they have been to hell and back, the least I can do is give them a second alone.

"It's bad Der"

"I know. I knew that in the forest, I knew that when I was putting in the stitches. But Cristina I need you to stay with her."

"Alex would never let me, I haven't seen her, just head a few nurses and saw Alex's pager. He won't tell me about her condition, let alone leave me in there"

"I know Yang. But she will give up if someone's not there. We know Mer better than anyone, she will give her life for anyone except herself. You need to tell her to carry on, please Cristina"

I heard a sigh, followed by a slow sob.

I turned the corner, Cristina's head was leaning on Derek's chest, heaving with sobs. I could barely imagine how they must be feeling right now. Derek's eyes were fallen shut, but the shimmer of the tears remained.

I felt like I was walking in on a funeral. To be honest, a few minutes ago I thought that was the reality.

Right now, this U-Turn is feeling impossible for her.

As if on cue, I heard a blaring alarm echoing across the tranquil ICU, jerking it out of the eerie quiet. Derek and Cristina's eyes opened wide and stared at me. I stepped out of the doorway and looked across the nurse's station to see the red flashing lights of two ICU rooms. Mark and Meredith. The crowd around Meredith's bed mobilized, Hunt shouting something to Alex who was now clinging to the bed which was being taken out of the room. I flung my head around to Derek and Cristina, Cristina was standing a metre away from me stumbling with her IV, I focussed just past her to see Derek yanking electrodes off his chest, groaning in pain as he attempted to leave his bed.

**So now we know Derek, Cristina and Lexie are out of harm's way… temporarily… anyway, Thanks for reading! Sorry it took so long, as per usual very hectic life rn. Hope you enjoy! Please like/follow/review/sing/dance/whatever you want **** Have a nice week!**


	20. Heart Ache

**Welcome back! I lost inspiration for a while but It has all come back to me in the last few days, I have stayed up till late doing this chapter because the inspiration couldn't wait! I hope you enjoy as much as I did writing it!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shonda Land**

CY- Hours passed in slow motion, the clock frozen. I refused to go in the bed. I could never sleep when my person was in surgery. I had tried to get into the gallery, but Alex knew I would, he was stood at the door, puffy eyed, giving me a look to go back. Neither of us had the strength right now. We couldn't do anything for her.

Nurses were like impossible safes of information. Knowing everything, keeping everything. Half of me knew that her chart would hurt me even more, but I had to know the situation, she was my- fuck-no- she is my person. I need to know how she is. I need to know she is ok.

The clock hands remained frozen. I glared up at the clock hanging skewed on the wall above the doorway. I slouched in the chair, cradling my arm in my lap. My arm was just as frozen, trapped in the cast which Alex had so carefully applied. Luckily, my hand was fine. Just my fucked humerus AND radius. My hand was ok, but I don't think I would ever be as still as I used to be. The other doctors told me this like scared mice after the x-ray. They knew I wouldn't take it well. But I had just sat in silence staring at the pager Alex had given me. He'd said he would page me with any update for Mer. She was the one in danger now.

We were all injured. There was no question about that. We will never forget the sleepless nights only being able to hear sobbing, screaming, whimpering. Our heads were fucked for life because of that, having to carry my best friend away from a collapsing tree with her screaming in pain was the largest scar I am going to take from this. Not a fucked-up arm.

But as for Meredith. There are only so many scars a person can take.

The scenes flashed and faded in front of the clock like clouds… the trees… the forest floor… the blackness….

LG- One of the most painful experiences in my life was waking up from the surgery. Only topped by the actual injury. But man, it hurt like hell. My whole arm was weighed down by casts, rods and all sorts of other mechanisms trying to salvage my wrist. Whilst the pain was bad, and trust me, it was horrible, like screaming horrible; I felt this itch. This itch of happiness, of gratitude that somehow, I made it through. We all did. The coldness was gone. We were home. Once the pain had dulled, I noticed Jackson at my side smiling from ear to ear. We were home.

But as quickly as that itch had come. It went. It went like the blur that sped across my vision. The blur of a stretcher with Alex running alongside it sobbing holding her hand. Hunt yelling pushing the stretcher, Bailey trying to keep the armoury of machine's secure on the edge.

The itch of happiness had vanished. Replaced by fear. Fear, dread, horror for my sister going to an OR, she would unlikely come back from

OW- I had stayed the whole time. Like a helpless child in the corner of the adult's room. I stared as they urgently pulled Meredith back to life on the operating table, for what must have been the fifth time. I'm convinced everyone had tears in their eyes though. Past the surgeon's masks, they were all children too. Worried they were going to lose a family member. That's what's strange though. I have never really met Meredith Grey. I know her name, age, medical situation, and that's the most of it. But I feel like I know her more. Know her more than anyone. I know the strength she had in that helicopter. In that elevator. The helpless look in her eyes as she lay strapped down on that stretcher caked in blood. But the fire too. The fire saying that she wanted to live. She wanted me to help her. I felt a bond with her that I had never felt with any other patient.

So, when at last, the room fell silent, the tears were wiped away. I was the first one to offer to pull that stretcher out, and away from the room of machines, blood and death.

**SEATTLE GRACE HOSPITAL INTENSIVE CARE UNIT - 2:05 AM**

DS- I was staring straight ahead when it happened. I had sat up because I couldn't bear to return to the nightmare I was having. Of course, it was about Mer, it was about the forest, it was about everything, all the bullshit we were going through, how impossible it all was to even process. I stared straight ahead, my eyelids heavy from all the pain meds, my stomach aching like a knife was being twisted inside it.

But all the pain vanished when a paramedic walked past my room, taking a stretcher with him. I couldn't see past all the machines, but I let myself think it was her. I let in some hope to what was such a horrible situation. I sat up in my bed, twisting that knife even harder.

"Hey, hey! Meredith?!" I shouted, but all that came out was a hoarse whisper.

I pushed myself up further, trying to swing my legs around and off the bed. They were tangled in the sheets, I rushed as the stretcher moved out of my vision. My heart sped up as pain flowed through my body, but as adrenalin fuelled me to get to my wife.

Just as I was groaning in pain about to pull my IV out, Bailey walked past my room wiping tears from her eyes, her eyes which had just shot to me.

"Oh my god Derek! Get back into bed! You are going to rip the stitches"

"I know- I know Bailey, where is Meredith? Where is Mer?" My whispers got cut off by a raging coughing fit, this wouldn't stop me though, I continued to stand up. But Bailey had come into the room by then and was pushing me by my shoulders back onto the bed, forcing me to drink the water in her shaking hand.

"Relax Derek! Relax, you are not going to do her any good tearing your stitches… relax"

My eyes rolled to the ceiling as I tensed at the excruciating pain of the knife slashing inside my stomach.

"Meredith, Miranda I need to see Meredith" I sobbed.

"I know Derek, I know, just relax for a second. She has just come out of surgery and-um, um" she choked back her tears, "she isn't in a good state, but Callie and Owen are doing the best they can, b-but she will be on a ventilator- so I don't think it is the best Idea for you to see her like this"

"Miranda. I had to fucking suture her legs in the middle of the forest, trust me, I can handle a bad state, I am a doctor for god's sake! What's more, she is my wife! I need to see her!" the coughing came back after my outburst, Miranda sat me up, rubbing my back, repeating "I know, I know, I know, you will see her, I will take you to her"

**Hope you enjoyed, crazy how quickly Chapter 20 comes, I just want to take a second to thank you all for the follows, faves, reviews, I wouldn't have got this far if it weren't for your support. Thank you. **


	21. Balancing Act

**I'm running out of ways to welcome you back, anyway here is chapter 21, I hope you like it! It still shocks me that anyone is actually reading this but I am certinally enjoying writing it! I really hope you like this one, not to toot my own trumpet but I am quite pleased with this chapter ;)**

**Disclaimer- All of the characters belong to ShondaLand**

DS- It took an age to get into a wheelchair with my bandaged stomach, making any movement excruciating, Miranda was trying her best though, constantly asking if I was SURE that I was ok, and if I was SURE if I wanted to see her. It all sounded like a blur of noise to me, static in the background. There was only one thing I could concentrate on right now and that was Mer. It was strange spending so long with someone suffering, to then be kept apart because it looked bad. Trust me, I know whatever I am going to see isn't going to look as bad as it did in the forest. She had begged me to let her go then and this made me grateful I didn't, however much I wanted to put her out of all of that pain. Miranda wheeled me out of the room trying to avoid the bump of the doorway, then she spun it slowly around to start towards Mer's room. As the wheelchair navigated it's way around the circular nurses station, my eyes remained fixed on the room across it which I had seen the stretcher go into. The lights were dimmed washing the ward with a gentle but cold glow, ever reminding us that this is not a nice place to be. Finally we approached the door. My head now could face forwards. Staring directly at the bed infront of me. The bed with my battered wife. Miranda began to pull back on the wheelchair as she saw the tear snail down my cheek. But I moved my hands to grip the wheels and halt them from moving. I summoned all the strength I could find to enter the room. I mumbled "I am fine Miranda. Please can, um, can I have a second" choking my throat with the threat of tears halfway through my sentence. She equally mumbled something back but I was going to see Mer whether she liked it or not.

I pulled the wheelchair along the edge of the bed, feeling the tightly tucked in blue sheets across the bed. I didn't look up but I felt her hand, I steadied my previously quivering hand by going to grip it, gripping it tightly. Having to remind myself. She is alive. She made it. We both made it. She is here Derek. As the tears came, so did the smile. So did the glee that I could touch her, and it wasn't in that god-forsaken forest.

She was intubated, bandaged, and I don't think I can manage looking at her legs right now, but all I knew was that she was here. And that is all that mattered to me.

LG- " I don't understand!? H-h-how could that even happen? That doesn't make sense! He was fine! H-h-how Jackson? JACKSON!" My mind was racing, temporarily paused by Jackson's rock hard grip on my hand.

"Lexie, please breathe! He is ok, he is alive, but he was taken to surgery two hours ago and it's going well"

"So you haven't told me for two hours!? That's great, that's fucking great. Mark is hugging death and you didn't even have the decency to come and tell me!"

"Hey now that is unfair" his voice took a stern turn, like I had said something out of line which I hadn't, "I was in surgery with Nelson making sure he didn't pull any shadow Shephard shit, what would you rather, me sit and hold your hand through the whole thing!"

"Jackson, relax" The paramedic in the corner of the room mumbled to Jackson who was raging on the stool by the bed.

For a second, the whole room stilled. Only the sound of fast breathing could be made out.

Actually, who even was that paramedic, and how the hell did she know Jackson? Anyway, that was a question for another time.

"Ok I'm sorry J, but please, just explain what the hell happened to Mark, he was fine when I saw him"

"I'm going to be honest with you Lex, I know this isn't what you want to hear but we don't know"

"What the hell do you mean you don't kn-"

"We know it is something wrong with his spine, a fall or something- but we need anything you can tell us about what he did in the forest, so we have the best chance of saving him as possible."

"Dear god. I can't believe- um, there wasn't much- uh, uh, he may have been hurt when the tree fell, but I can't remember anything after that.

A hand approached Jackson's shoulder from behind, the paramedic,

"Dr Avery, we should go, Nelson has paged three times now"

Jackson reached for my hand, "Get some rest, I will do all I can"

Then swiftly they both left, perhaps holding eye contact a second too long.

**SEATTLE GRACE INTENSIVE CARE UNIT (2 DAYS LATER) – 8:16 AM**

CT- Every time I had been in to check her legs, someone new was there. First it was just Derek Shepherd. A very stubborn Derek Shepherd who Bailey had tried to convince to go back to his room. Then it was Alex Karev, who had sat in the corner, refusing to get any closer, I don't think he could manage it, he just needed her to know he was there. Then it was Cristina Yang, who had come in fuming that no one had told her she could visit Meredith, but after seeing her she understood why. She held her hand for, well probably all night. They had all slept in there, falling into their nightmares with the thrum of the ventilator.

So when I led the residents into her room for morning rounds, I wasn't surprised to see all three of them there. Derek was sitting in a recovery chair right next to the bed fast asleep with a blanket right up to his shoulders. Cristina had been allowed to go home for some clothes so was pacing in the corner, dressed in a long sleeved top and loose fitting joggers. Alex, of course, was sitting eating on the other side of the room. But as soon as I entered the doorway with my brigade of doctors flanking me, they all snapped out of their trances. Eyes flicking to me. Desperate like hungry puppies for any update. "Morning guys, you mind if we start?"

"Yeah, just a second," Cristina walked over to Derek and gently shook him awake, whispering something, probably telling him we were here to round.

"Oh, hey Callie," he said in a grumbled voice, obviously still in deep recovery.

"Hi Derek, ok let's get going. Dr Watkins, as Meredith's first doctor on the scene, can you round please?"

I'd met Ollie about an hour before now, he seemed on edge about Meredith, almost as emotional as all of us were. But he obviously caught onto how we were stuffing all those emotions down for the sake of her care, so he did the same. He had changed into some navy scrubs and is standing in the corner of the room, leaning on the glass wall. He had dusty blonde hair which he had attempted to clean up in some way, but he obviously wasn't that concerned. Dr Watkins informed me his superior had let him take a few weeks to oversee Meredith's care. He hasn't left the hospital since that phone call had ended, which would explain the bags shadowing his eyes. He pushed himself off of the wall after I said something to him, then fumbled around the pockets of his scrubs to get out a tattered flip-pad.

OW- Jesus Ollie, just find the page! Everyone is looking, my vision blurred, I blinked hard to regain it, steadied my hands, and began to present "Sure Dr Torres, uh-ok, so our patient is Dr Meredith Grey, 33 years old, when she was evacuated she presented with blunt trauma to the head and abdomen, severe crush wounds to both legs, 3 broken ribs and a concussion of unknown effect" Additionally… I had to take a breath to collect myself, "when the patient was delivered to the hospital, she suffered cardiac tamponade."

The room was silent, almost reeling in shock all over again. The extensive list of severe injuries was like stabbing everyone in the chest over and over.

Callie cleared her throat saving me from the eyes burning into me, "Ahem, ok, thank you Dr Watkins, Dr Adams please can you recap the surgery"

A nervous second year intern stepped forwards around the huddle of blue scrubs, her eyes darting around the room to all the doctors who would usually be her superiors in emotional wrecks surrounding their friend. In a mousy voice she began, "At 2AM on the 4th October, Dr Grey was taken into emergency surgery following her fourth cardiac arrest," the intern droned on, as I stared directly at Meredith, now surrounded by her people, but still wavering at the edge of the cliff. Possibly falling off at any second.

"…Dr Hunt treated the sutures in the…" My focus on Meredith sharpened as the intern went on highlighting the tiny details of the surgery, but all I could see was the slight squint in Meredith's eyes, and the slight tremor of her hand.

As it seemed like the intern was fading further and further away, Meredith looked more and more uncomfortable, maybe even conscious?

CT- I nodded in encouragement as Dr Adams was still going, everyone in the room's eyes trained on her. Her voice shaky as she recited the surgical notes, "During the surgery however, there were concerns due to the fact that the patient is preg-"

"Hey, someone help!" Dr Watkins had leaped from his corner of the room, throwing his pad on the floor to speed to Mer's bedside. Everyone looked over to Meredith, who was now awake.

Awake. Writhing in pain. As the blood slowly started bleeding through the bandages on her shoulder.

Awake. Trying to pull out the intubation.

Meredith was awake.

Well, shit.

**There you go! Chapter 21! What a rollercoaster, I hope you are all still interested in the story, the reviews are amazing and its great to hear from you all. Enjoy your summer, I'll just be writing away…. **


	22. The Fight has Only Just Begun

**OMG. I am so sorry. I cant believe I left you waiting this long. I am so ashamed In myself! I love this story and anyone that reads it. And wow, if you are still here, congrats! I hope you like this instalment **** Ops on S16?**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shondaland **

CY- I don't know this doctor all that well, but in the blink of an eye he was bent over Meredith, holding her arm away from the intubation tube which she was so desperately trying to remove. I could hear him whispering, "shshshsh Meredith, its ok, bear with me"

Almost a complete stranger, saving my best friends life for the third time. I was in awe. But only for a second, anyone who knows me, knows that my emotions don't get in the way of my patients care.

But I found myself paralysed on the chair. It is as if everything had been plunged into slow motion, and my limbs were stuck in quicksand. I watched the doctors flock to Meredith doing all sorts of things, all I could do was sit there and watch.

CT- "Back Up! Everyone back up!" I shouted to all the interns crowding the bed. Derek, whilst his eyes were still fixed on Meredith, hopelessly tried to herd them out as Dr Watkins and I held Meredith down. I knew talking wouldn't help her right now so as the tear that was rolling down my face fell to the sheets on the bed. I flicked my eyes up to her. I looked deep into her blue eyes, but not for long, they flicked away, jerking from left to right, up, down. But I gripped her hand, and in a split second she and I locked eye contact. It was as if she was no longer in control of her body, her eyes were static, staring at me, whilst her whole body writhed in pain. Her eyes were deep with anger, pain, desperation, the veins in her eyes bright red and all I could hear were deep animalistic groans… she was trying to speak. No doubt about what she almost heard Adams say, 'preg' doesn't leave much to the imagination. Im just begging that Derek didn't hear, I don't think he would ever face me again knowing I didn't tell him, let alone that I may not have saved the baby.

But every part of my gut was telling me that Meredith wouldn't last the pain to come if she couldn't tell Derek she loved him. The problem is that intubation is the only thing that guaranteed to us that she would breathe, taking it out too early would result in her lungs not being ready, she would suffocate. It's a risk that I just can't take. But those groans, pure with pain are hard to ignore. I couldn't look at her suffering eyes anymore.

Bad Idea.

By the time I built up the confidence to look at her face again. Ollie was holding the intubation like a bloody knife staring at Meredith. Everyone's eyes were fixed upon him. It was as if the beeping of the machines turned into white noise. All that could be heard were Meredith's desperate gasps.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?! Who the hell do you think you are? Do you want her to suffocate?"

"Callie?" Alex whispered from the end of the bed. I flung my head in anger towards him, he was stood at the end of the bed with his puffy red face, his hand shakily pointed towards Meredith.

I turned expecting to see a line. A red title announcing 'DECEASED' on the monitor.

But I saw Meredith. 'ALIVE'. Her bruised, cut face forming a weak, twitchy smile. One side of her mouth slightly raised.

Tears falling from her face, her shoulder bleeding, she whimpered "n-n-nice-e…. tt-to s-see…y-you a-lll"

DS- My heart shattered. So much for all their fucking talk about brain dead, not my Mer. Not in a million years, this is too soon. She is a fighter. She is the strongest person I know.

I never thought I would be so happy to hear a complete sentence. I struggled up from the wheelchair, bracing myself on the edge of her bed. A bolt of pain shot up through my stomach, but I have come to find that pain is insubstantial when it comes to Mer. Nothing compares to what we have. I felt an arm loop under my shoulder, that paramedic. He held me just as I was ready to fall. Just enough time to reach Mer, to caress her cheek. Remind myself she's still here, but more importantly, that I'm here for her.

She was ice cold, shaking in pain, releasing gasps of air as she whispered to me, "i—i-i-'m… sstti—lll h-er-e…" She sounded shocked.

MG- In that moment I knew I had survived the first round. The first round of my fight, I know there's more to come. But I have Derek, Cristina, Alex, I have my people. Derek's touch reminded me, he hadn't left, he was still beside me whispering in my ear as I was trapped in the forest.

**Sorry this was so short! Please review/follow/fave, the whole shabang, cya!**


	23. Smoke and Mirrors

**Welcome back wonderful readers! I know its been a long time and trust me, I am just as ashamed of myself as you are. I have been loving greys lately and it has really got me in the mood to write again! And I mean, I defo have a LOT more time on my hands now. In case you have forgotten, a quick recap: Sloan is out of surgery, so is Mer, they are both not doing too great! Lexi is recovering and so is Derek and Cristina. ( I don't want to give away too much!) but Callie, Owen and Bailey all know something (wink wink) that they are desperately trying to keep from the others. Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to ShonaLand**

MS- No! NO, NOT YET! Meredith, stay with me, stay with me, Derek is coming! You are not dying in the middle of a forest for gods sake, just—i-i-I just need to stop this… Ok mark, you just need to stop this bleeding, hold it down, D-FIB, DR SLOAN, Meredith, Derek! Lexie! I need you I need you! Why is everything spinning? Meredith! She's bleeding Callie!

LG- I sit back in the visitors chair in the corner of the room, surrounded by the dull ache in my wrist, buzzing with pain, impossible to ignore. I must have been in here for at least two days now. I just sit here, staring at him, not sleeping, not eating, much to Jackson's dislike. Mark is lying there, with tens of wires and tubes poking in and out of his veins, his whole body bandaged up, hopelessly trying to recover. But the scariest part of it all are his pupils darting back and forth beneath his eyelids, the sweat dripping on his brow. It's as if he is in some never-ending nightmare he can't get out of. And all I can do is sit here. Waiting.

His body refuses to wake him up. He has been in a coma ever since his surgery. We all could have guessed this eventuality, considering it was spinal surgery. Whenever the brain or spine are involved, the risks are quadrupled. I guess that's why I was so drawn to it, Derek helped me so much with that. He invigorated my passion for the quadrupled risks, for the impossible cases, for the things that other doctors would give up on. Derek made me see those risks as opportunities. But right now, I was feeling everything but hopeful. I don't want the risks, I don't want an impossible case, I just want Mark to be ok. Is that so much to ask?

MB- Every second I can get, I am in the ICU. I walk around the circular nurses station looking into all of the rooms. A few weeks ago, this would have been a quick check, a fleeting look at the poor patients and their families sobbing over their frail bodies. But not today. Today, they are ALL my family. Today, I am the one sobbing over my family. But of course, not out loud. As I said, they are my family, my kids, I _need_ to be strong for them.

Losing George years back shattered my heart into tiny pieces. While I've tried so hard, those pieces never quite came back together. There has always been those missing parts, seeing him everyday, his undoubted enthusiasm and positivity. Its something you don't realise you love and need until its gone. Until its ripped away from you in a heartbeat. I can't have that happen again, I know my heart won't come back together this time.

My eyes linger on Meredith's room which looks like a tropical jungle at the moment with flowers lined up on every surface available, cards stacked up to a foot high. For someone who never knew much love as a child, she certainly has it now. In excess. I've known her since she joined this hospital and watched her slowly find her people, all of whom have stuck with her like her biological family never did. They surround her now. Cristina who seems to have permanently located herself in Mer's room, much to the dislike of Callie, is sitting right next to Meredith with her IV propped next to her. Alex sits in the corner lounging on a sofa, but not with a bag of chips or a game. He just sits there half awake, staring at the ceiling. I know him. I know that this whole ordeal has been heart wrecking for him. April still refuses to let Derek out of his room to see Meredith since last time it did more damage than good, but at least she is in good hands.

The knowledge of her pregnancy has been crushing. Its swirling around in my head, spiralling, getting worse and worse. I know it will come out at some point, of course Mer deserves to know, everyone deserves to know. But it never feels like the right time. Everyone is being held together by tape and glue right now. One more thing on their plate and they will all fall apart once more. The wrecking thing about all of it is that it's unlikely she would be able to carry to term anyway.

The baby is now 11 weeks old, and no one knows about it. No one except the people in that OR. No one except the people who quite literally saw her code on the operating table, and they all know that a secret like this would be crushing for Mer. I honestly don't think she would last knowing that there is a baby in the mix, the pressure of keeping two people alive, not just herself. But I have to know if the baby is ok, while she may not know about it, the most I can do for her now is make sure that it is healthy. I suck in a large gulp of air, puff my chest and walk into the forest.

CY- Its been a painful two weeks, to say the least. Watching my person helplessly trying to grasp onto life is one of the most painful things I've ever had to deal with. Just sitting here, not being able to do anything is horrible. Usually, when there is an issue, when there is a problem, a scalpel will fix it. I can fix things. That's what I love about this job, I help people, I fix the problems that need solving. But this is hitting too close to home.

Sitting here staring at the unsteady rise and fall of Mer's chest is not fixing anything. I'm helpless… just like I was with my Dad… sitting here…. Helpless.

I'm awoken from my daze when Bailey comes striding into the room, sliding the glass door across. Breaking the bubble we have formed from the rest of the world. When she gets to the edge of Mers bed, she just stands there and stares at me, I have a feeling she thought I was asleep. And I also have a feeling, that she much rathered it would've stayed that way.

"Bailey…?" I mutter,

"Yes Yang?" she declares

"What are you doing here? Is Mer all ok? I thought all the bloodwork was done for today?"

"It is. I'm just…"

"What are you doing Miranda?" I said as she began rolling in some machinery to the edge of Mer's bed.

"I just thought an ultrasound would be useful, better being safe than sorry right…"

I knew she didn't need an ultrasound. Bailey isn't the kind of doctor to test 'better safe than sorry'. She is a practical woman as she is a practical doctor. This was very out of character. But what harm could it do. I feel helpless enough in the whole process, it would be foolish to stop the people who are actually trying to help. I lean back into my chair but the tension in my muscles isn't released. This doesn't seem right. I've had enough of not knowing, of being stuck in the dark.

Just as Miranda squeezes the gel onto Mer's frail, bruised stomach, Alex begins to rouse on the couch, out from his state of half-consciousness. "What's going on?" he mutters under a large exhale._ I don't know…. _Is what I'm thinking. But instead I out with, "Bailey is giving Mer an ultrasound". I look over to Bailey as I speak. Her eyes are trained on the monitor with a shock in her eyes. "Bailey…? What is it?"

"No-nothing, Cristina, all good here"

"Are you sure? You looked shocked?", she must think that I haven't noticed her slowly moving infront of the monitor by now,

"Bailey? You are lying to me, show me whats on the monitor" I wince in pain as I push myself up to look at the monitor she is obscuring. Her eyes have locked with mine. A severity in them I haven't seen since Denny.

"No Cristina. Please just sit back down, its nothing to worry about!"

We are interrupted by Alex, who has got up from the couch and is now standing by the monitor. I hear him utter "…oh my god" ,staring in disbelief "Mer is pregnant".

MB- Shit. I spin around only to see Karev staring at the monitor, revealing everything we have been trying to shield them from. This is easily worst-case scenario.

"Cristina- let me ex-", but she isn't staring at me anymore, not even Alex. She is staring at Mer. A conscious Mer. One that has just heard everything.

I take it back. _This_ is the absolute worst-case scenario.

**Wow! I hope you remembered what was going on -ish, and enjoyed this chapter. Please let me know if you want more? If not, I will try and work on a sort of ending, but I defo have a few more stories/twists/turns up my sleeve if you would want that? Anyway, thanks for coming back and plz like/follow/comment whatever xxx**


	24. Chain Reactions

**Helllooooo, welcome back to my tiny corner of the internet. Hope you enjoy this instalment, really fun writing from Alex's perspective in this one.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shondaland**

MG- What?! Wait no- I must be hallucinating again, this can't be real. I must have imagined it, right? I mean yesterday, I saw George sitting at the end of my bed, so I mean this must just be another hallucination, yep… I mean, I'm a doctor, I know that this is a hallucination. I mean, my head is thumping, so I guess, obvious head trauma. This is common. I know it is. I know these are hallucinations. But, I can't help but shake the feeling that this might just not be…oh my god… Derek. What is Derek going to say? I need to talk to Derek, I need to go, I need to tell him, we need to talk about this. I try and open my eyes again, I want to see Cristina, look her in the eye, to be sure. This still could just be some terrible dream… I move to open my eyes, forcing them open, but it feels like they are weighed down by a thousand bricks. Wow, they really must have gone hard with the sedatives. Or this whole thing was as bad as it felt.

CY- No. Bailey wouldn't have kept this from her, from us. That is cruel. Bailey isn't cruel. I stare at Meredith's frail body, trying to imagine how anything could have survived all that she has gone through. This is the worst luck she could have possibly been dealt. But she deserved to know, she deserved to know about her own baby!

"Bailey, how could you…" I say slowly, and quietly, still processing what has just happened.

"I-It was… we-w…Cristina, I was trying to spare her… to spare her the pain, the pressure, I-I…"

"how could you…" I echo

"Seriously Bailey, that is screwed up, she has the right to know about her own baby! For god's sake! What about Derek? What else have you been hiding?" Alex exclaimed,

"Please can we just, go and talk about this, somewhere else" Bailey pleads,

"Oh, for fuck's sake Bailey, she just heard! She knows you have been hiding her own pregnancy from her! And you want to go somewhere else? Like that is going to fix anything!?"

"Karev, calm down! We did this to protect her, to sh-"

"We?! We? There are more people who know? You're telling me that everyone seems to know about Mer's baby except Mer!"

"Alex, stop! You are not helping anything right now! We hid the pregnancy because of this, because of this happening. We were trying to save her from this pressure, from this conflict, I was trying to give her a break from all this!"

I just stood there. Staring at Meredith's lifeless form on the bed. So relieved that she fell unconscious again. She doesn't need to hear this. I just don't want to see what she has to say when she wakes up again.

AKAR- I defend Mer because that's all I know how to do. She always talks about Cristina being her person, but right now, she needs a lot more than one person. I sit down, tired from fighting with Bailey. It isn't getting us anywhere. I try to lean back and relax but I can't, my body is tense, tied up. I can't stop thinking about how Meredith was kept in the dark about HER OWN pregnancy. Its shit. Its really shit. The tension in my shoulders intensifies, I feel like someone is suffocating me.

I try to listen to Meredith's voice in my head, telling me to stop focusing on the past and think about the future. She always was so frank like that. Wait no- is! Is so frank like that! This is definitely not the time to start talking about her in past tense. She is here. She is alive. At least I can focus on that. I focus. I focus so hard. But the tension doesn't go. It feels like there isn't enough oxygen in the room. The invisible strings tighten around my throat, my arms, my legs. I'm a doctor. I know what this is. This is a panic attack. And Meredith doesn't need any semblance of 'panic' in the room right now.

I don't know what comes over me but I storm out of the room, and out of the ICU. The hospital blurs as I begin to jog. To jog away from it all. To get away from the strings, from the panic, from the focussing, from everything. I pass the bustling corridors of the cardio ward, missing the elevator, instead taking the stairs down. I keep on moving, increasing my pace, my thoughts swirling uncontrollably in my head, forcing me forwards. I bump shoulders with someone as I make for the entrance, I mumble an apology, but I can't think about that now. I just need to get out. I just need to get away. To be done with all of this crap. Everything becomes blurred except for that door.

And I'm out. It's as if I have finally come up to breathe after holding my breath for the last 10 minutes. The cold air surrounds me, sending chills through my body. I hear my chest heave and see my breath fade to fog in the air. As the fog dissipates, so does the tension in my shoulders, slowly. I feel a wave of relief rush over me. Dizziness even. This is dizzying. That's the word. All of this happening is dizzying. Everyone I know and love, my family, are broken. They are a heap of broken bones, internal bleeds, bruises and trauma which I fear they will never recover from. And I feel paralysed. I feel useless. I can barely breathe, let alone help them. I want to be there for Mer, for Cristina, for Lexie, for all of them. But it is killing me. And this pregnancy is just the cherry on top. I don't know what to do. I am 9 again, sitting in the kitchen, watching my mom shout at nothingness. Helpless.

Overcome with guilt, I stumble to the wall, losing all strength I thought I had left. And I let myself go. A minute later, I find myself sobbing on the cold, icy gravel, my back leaning on the wall, my head in my hands. I know I have to toughen up. I know I have to breathe again. For Meredith. But for now, I need to sob. Just for a second. I need the icy gravel, the cold wall, and the tears. And then I will be ready to face this.

MB- This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to be revealed like this. It would have been better to have stayed a secret, because in all likelihood, this baby probably won't make it. I hate to admit it, but I have to be realistic. And now Meredith probably knows, Cristina is silent (no doubt, with anger, or grief for the poor baby, or both) and Alex has stormed off. The secret is out. Now time for damage control.

**Oooooo, I have a hunch that this secret is going to spiral a bit more than Bailey would like… we will just have to wait and see… stay tuned! Plz take a sec to drop a review, really nice hearing what you guys think/want to happen etc… cya!**


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